


Yullen One-shots

by kciel



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 12:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 26,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10412652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kciel/pseuds/kciel
Summary: Originally a short book to celebrate the completion of my second Yullen fic, Yullen Oneshots now serves as a D. Gray-Man one-shot compilation.Recently renamed. Originally named Yullen Music Challenge!





	1. Take A Hint

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by: Take A Hint - Victorious Cast

Allen leaned his elbows against the gleaming granite countertop, fake smile plastered on his face as he pretended to care what the old drunkard across from him was talking about. Fake smile. Fake laugh. Can I get you something, cutie? Flirtatious wink. A constantly repeated process that somehow brought in a decent profit to "this shithole of a bar" as the white-haired teen would commonly describe it.

Sighing as he went to retrieve yet another bottle of Budweiser, he stole a glance of his Portuguese co-worker chatting it up with a flamboyant redhead, staring on with envy as he recalled the recent increase in visits from the zealous character, who requested Tyki each and every time. Allen recently developed a sort of jealousy for the older man, eyes narrowing into slits each time one of the more attractive customers practically made a beeline to the darker-skinned beauty.

Could it really be helped? After all, the albino boy was normally stuck with the unpleasantries of tramps and old perverts.

As he re-approached his former position at his side of the countertop, the clink of the glass beer bottle resounded through the unusually quiet atmosphere; his customer, an old man sporting a white tank-top with grease stains, shot him a flirty grin and a wink, making Allen mentally gag.

That's when he noticed him, an Asian man with long, ebony hair tied back into a tight ponytail stationed in the corner of the bar in a booth, a pair of cobalt orbs flickering back and forth between Allen and his creep of a customer.

Following Allen's gaze, the drunkard spun around in his seat, eyes widening with recognition as he caught sight of the stealthy character. Suddenly, the old man made a grab for Allen, pulling his lithe frame across the bar, a groan of pain escaping from the albino's lips. The Asian man quickly jumped out of his seat, drawing a pistol out of it's hidden holster, aiming it with steady hands at the lunatic gripping the poor teen as a hostage.

"Freeze! SBPD, Santa Barbara Police Department! You're under arrest for the murders of Komui and Lenalee Lee! Release the boy!" The Asian cop's deep voice rumbled, a stern and threatening tone. 

"And what? Go to jail again? No thanks!" The old man retorted with a snarl, tightening his grip around the white-haired teen's neck, causing him to choke out a tiny, pathetic whimper.

The smashing of glass echoed throughout the establishment as the apparent criminal nailed his beer bottle against granite, alcohol spilling onto the polished surface of tiling like a bubbly yellow waterfall. With a menacing smirk, the sharp points of the glass were pressed gently against Allen's throat, droplets of blood trickling down the teen's neck. 

"Take another step and I'll slit the kid's throat before a bullet ever makes it into my head!" The fiend threatened with a smug look on his face.

Suddenly, the click of a gun surprised both Allen and the suspect, the voice of a familiar redhead speaking up over the excitement, "Two against one, Norman. Give it up. You can't win this one."

Just as the man was about to plunge glass into the throat of the nineteen-year-old bartender, a gun shot rung out through the air, deafening the ears of each bystander. 

Norman cried out in pain, clutching the shoulder of the arm that once held deadly glass, a bullet wound spurting forth a trail of crimson over grease-stained white. Allen's petite frame crumpled to the floor in a state of panic, hyperventilating in a fit of hysteria. Quickly, the Asian policeman tossed a pair of shiny handcuffs into the hands of his redheaded partner and gathered the albino into his arms, alerting paramedics of his slight panic attack and injuries through a transmitter. 

"Breathe with me, kid. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Now, what's your name?" He spoke in a gentle but firm voice, cobalt eyes peering into the face of the younger boy with concern.

"Allen Walker..." Allen breathed out shakily, a small cough following suit.

"I'm Detective Yu Kanda. You're okay now. Alright?" A small smile graced the detective's features, sending the younger male's heart fluttering like a butterfly.

Face flushed, Allen relaxed into the strong arms of the handsome cop, his breathing pattern slowing down to a more even pace as he inhaled the scent of lotus flowers. Soon, however, unbeknownst to both Allen and Kanda, the albino would become extremely familiar with the pair of toned muscles wrapping him in a firm yet loving embrace. For, only a mere year down the road, a pair of identical wedding bands would encircle each of their ring fingers.


	2. Sorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Sorrow - Flyleaf

"I want you to be the one to kill me, Kanda... You're the only one who knows..."

Allen said this to me one dreary morning as we lay relaxing side by side on the floor of the training room. His voice was weak, shaking with what I assumed was fear, but I was wrong. It wasn't fear. It was sorrow.

He would often wear a mask, that god damned fake smile, but for some reason, he chose to remove it in my presence. A polite smile traded for a bitter laugh. Bright, doe-like eyes turned bloodshot and covered in tears. In reality, the Black Order's "Destroyer of Time" was nothing more than a lone teenager with the weight of this forsaken world draped around his shoulders, shivering like a leaf with utter despair.

"This fate... It wasn't something I chose, was it? If I can't change my fate, then I am at least allowed the right to choose the hands of my killer."

Part of me holds firm to the belief that this was a form of punishment, nothing more than punitive instruction granted to send me into an incurable state of sorrow as well. He knew I loved him, knew I couldn't imagine murdering him. However, because of this, I was chosen. Being a victim of hate, the white-haired teen couldn't stand the thought of the satisfactory expressions of the arrogant superiors that tormented him. Instead, he wished for someone he held dear to be the one to steal his last breath.

"Only you have seen past the mask." He'd say to coax me. I'd merely nod, stoic expression holding strong, though inside, I knew I was screaming.

For one of the first times in my life, I weeped for a tortured soul just as Allen did for Lala. As my sword plunged deeper into the chest of my beloved, his blood spurting forth on us like a crimson coat, gold orbs reverting to silver, pathetic sobs escaped the crevices of my heart. My ears perked up at the sound of a weak, strained voice, a familiar voice.

"Th-thank... you, Ka--I lo--" Silence.

Pulling the limp corpse of the fallen exorcist into my arms, I planted one last kiss on his forehead, tears streaming down my face. 

"Kanda?" Lavi called as he ventured upon the scene. Eyes darting between Allen and I, he spoke in a gentle tone as I lifted my sword, "Kanda... Please don't--"

I cut him off, "No more sorrow..."

Slitting my throat with my own weapon, knowing full well the last petal would soon collapse with the others, I closed my eyes and for a moment, I saw Allen smile without the mask of hidden sorrow.


	3. Nuclear Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Nuclear Sun - DJ SATOMI

Glimmering confetti lay strewn about the filthy floors of the club, various greens and purples and blues flashing about in a crowd of sweaty drunks and dirty dancers. A white-haired GoGo boy, sparkling prop angel wings attached to his back, danced on a pedestal above the crowd in only his briefs, dollars raining in his direction as a group of young men cheered on his provocative performance, voices almost inaudible over the deafening volume of the pulsating music.

"Allen!" A bouncer somehow broke through the noise, motioning the popular dancer over.

A smirk forming on his expression, the albino seductively blew a kiss towards the small audience he had attracted before gathering his money and leaping from his station onto the floor, following the buff man towards the dressing rooms.

"You have a visitor. Need me to stand in?"

"No, that won't be necessary." 

A cocky grin spread across Allen's face as he approached the dressing rooms, already aware of who his "surprise" visitor was. The bouncer, who was hardly visible in the flashes of the strobe lights, opened the door for the young man, watching him through a pair of dark sunglasses despite the circumstances of their surroundings.

Entering the room, silver eyes landed on a lone figure waiting patiently on a bench. A smirk graced the petite dancer's features as cobalt orbs returned his gaze, a glimmer of recognition flashing in his irises for just a moment.

"Why, hello there, Officer." Allen winked, "Not in the uniform this time? You look so hot in it though..." The albino stuck out his pink lower lip in the form of a pout.

"I don't have time to play along with you today, Moyashi. You know I only come to you when things get rough." The deep voice of the cop rumbled as he looked up at the smaller boy, who now stood before him.

Allen stared at the policeman for a few moments, taking in his always handsome features. Head Detective Yu Kanda was a tall, slender man with cascades of raven hair flowing heavily past his shoulders. Light olive skin traced over toned muscles, the tattoo on the right side of his chest slightly exposed due to his tank top. Eyes of deep cobalt returned his gaze, his Japanese ethnicity quite visible through his eye shape and dialect.

The white-haired boy smirked. Taking a seat on the Asian man's lap, he wrapped his pale, slim legs around his waist, tracing the cop's abs gently with his fingertips. 

"Whaddaya have for me? Remember, I don't bust family." Allen whispered in a serious tone, his usual smirk only reappearing once Kanda wrapped an arm around his waist.

"A body was found dumped outside of a diner off Gallahad Avenue. The waitress who was locking up that night found him while taking out the trash and called the police immediately. He was later identified as Keith "Krucible," a GoGo boy currently employed in this district like you. Know anything about him?" He asked, holding up a photo of the corpse.

A body lay sprawled out among five large garbage bags in the photograph, its head turned in an awkward direction. 

"Yeah... Yeah, I know him." The dancer sighed, "They snapped his neck, huh? Poor kid probably didn't even know he was getting killed. He was part of the S&M crowd."

Allen's eyes scanned the photo, taking note of the tasseled mop of brown hair upon the victim's head, a few chunks of the oil-infested hairs missing from an area above his right ear, traces of blood staining the shell.

"From the looks of it, I'd say this is the work of his boss. He's known for dumping newbies if they don't take too kindly to his little date rape games at his parties." With a roll of his eyes, the albino pressed his forehead gently against the collar bone of the older man, his voice dying down to a hushed tone, "Ross is your man. I'm a little envious of him. He gets to have you cuff him."

A small chuckle escaped the Japanese's throat as he placed a small kiss on the petite man's head.

"If I ever handcuff you, I'll set you free." He spoke in a seductive whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If nobody gets the reference at the end, I'll be truly disappointed. My advice? Listen to Nuclear Sun. You will understand within the first few seconds of the song.
> 
> I don't know what's with my obsession of Kanda as a cop. It's just hot to me, I guess?


	4. Rollin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Rollin' - Limp Bizkit

"How did we end up with such a shitty apartment?" Allen laughed, taking a long draw out of his cigarette before passing it to Kanda, who did the same.

"Probably because nobody gave a shit about us." Kanda replied, a small, bitter chuckle following suit.

Both boys lay sprawled out together on the rotting floor of their one-room apartment, smoking away their troubles as they gazed up at the squeaking ceiling fan through bloodshot eyes. The sea foam paint of the walls lay scattered about the floor beneath them, the puny chips of paint sticking to the backs of their shirts.

Allen rolled over on top of his roommate so that he was straddling his hips, a toothy grin plastered on his face. A small, tender smile graced Kanda's features as he stared up at the albino, placing a gentle hand upon the boy's thigh.

"I give a shit about youuuu..." The white-haired teen whispered in a singsong voice, snatching the cigarette out of the Asian's hand. He inhaled the intoxicating fumes once more before extinguishing the puny embers in a nearby ashtray. 

"Fuck 'em all then. I have a better brat to deal with." The older man purred, pulling the younger into a deep kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> This one is extremely short as you can see. Kind of difficult to write a fanfiction based on a Limp Bizkit song. I apologize for my lack of detail. My mind literally drew a huge blank on this one.
> 
> Despite the cursing and use of cigarettes, I consider this a short, fluffy Drabble as strange as that might sound. 
> 
> Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed it at least a little bit!


	5. Clarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Clarity - Zedd

I wasn't quite sure when or why this happened. In fact, I doubt my mind could ever come to comprehend this anomaly at all. All I knew for certain was that I was falling apart... And at that very moment, when I was prepared to break, he became my clarity.

Running my fingers through his long locks of ebony hair, my eyes softened at the sight of his sleeping form, enjoying the gentle rise and fall of his chest. 

Somehow, the coldhearted, less-than-popular Second exorcist, Yu Kanda, managed to capture my heart. On more than one occasion, I'd find my thoughts occupied by the Japanese man. His elegant stride, his menacing glare. I even began noticing his small habits not many people, except perhaps Lavi, picked up on, such as the way he'd subconsciously grip Mugen's hilt each time he heard footsteps, even in safe environments. Overall, many would classify this as a schoolboy crush, but of course, being the teenager I am, I thought of it as something more, a deep connection so to speak. 

Believe me, Kanda was the last person I'd ever choose to be my object of affection not only because he was a male but also because he was a prick. It was absolutely insane for me to fall for him; I was fully aware of this, but every time I locked eyes with him, a sense of encouragement would overwhelm me. Something Mana couldn't even seem to grant me anymore. Every touch and every word would ignite some sort of spark within me and it would bless me with an unknown strength. 

An almost inaudible, irritated grunt grasped my attention as the man beside me stirred in his sleep. A soft chuckle escaped my lips as I mentally burst into a fit of "aw's." 

In all honesty, I wish I didn't have this need for Kanda's presence. I knew it could only end with pain, each of us watching the other's retreating back as we launched into merciless battle, unable to predict the outcome. It couldn't be helped. Eventually, the two of us would cease to exist, nothing more than clouds of dust in the wind, future generations unaware of our sacrifices. 

"Baka..." My thoughts were interrupted by a pair of strong arms pulling me into the embrace of a toned chest.

"Who-who are you calling 'baka,' Bakanda?!" I yelled, hitting Kanda lightly on the chest with a gloved hand.

"You were voicing your thoughts out loud again, idiot sprout. Che." His eyes narrowed into accusatory slits. 

"I did..?" My face flushed with embarrassment as I tried desperately to avoid eye contact with the larger male. 

Roughly, using his calloused fingertips, he pulled at my chin in order to force me to look into cobalt orbs. Silver met cobalt. Slight panic raced through my chest as my heart thudded wildly like an internal drum. 

"Don't think like that. As much as I hate to fucking admit it, I need you and you need me. Even if we're destroyed, we will meet again." He whispered, gazing into my eyes with both fear and sincerity reflecting in dark irises. 

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?

If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?


	6. Boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Boyfriend - Big Time Rush

"Thank you so much for inviting me, Lavi!" Allen's silver eyes lit up like a pair of sparkling stars as he beamed at the numerous neon lights about the fairgrounds. 

"Pffft. Why thank me? They were Kanda's tickets." The redhead remarked "innocently," smirking ever so slightly as he noticed a burning red tinting his Japanese friend's face.

"Oh... Well, thank you, Kanda." The albino gave the older teen a small smile before taking his friends' hands, "Now, let's go have fun!"

"What would you like to do first?" Lavi asked, scanning over the various tents and rides surrounding the trio.

"Why don't we play a game first? See anything you want to try, Kanda?" Allen turned towards his friend, visible excitement written in his expression.

Allen had never been to a carnival solely for pleasure, always being the one working the clown shows rather than enjoying them, and Kanda was well aware of this as he bought an extra ticket and "casually" slid a photo of the albino into Lavi's line of vision. Of course, Lavi, despite his natural stupidity, took a hint and invited the younger boy, sparing Kanda the humility of asking the kid himself. However, little did he know that Lavi had bigger plans for the pair. 

"How about we try that?" The redhead pointed at a booth with a cheery old man beckoning people over to win a prize. Stacks of bottles could be seen in the back, standing tall in front of the various colors of the stuffed animals lining the walls. Sets of three tattered baseballs, their binding weak from years of use, lay on the scarlet surface of the booth's counter.

"The ball toss game? Kanda should like that." The white-haired teen inquired casually, nodding his head nonchalantly in agreement with his words. 

"Che."

The trio headed towards the ball toss game, the elder manning the booth seemingly giddy as they approached. Clearly, the guy loved his job. Either that, or he was a superb actor. 

"Step right up, young'uns! First toss is free, then ya get regular price, which is tree dollars! If ya knock down all tree bottles, ya getta prize of yer choice!" The worker announced with a large smile of yellowing teeth. 

"Sounds good!" Lavi said with a big, toothy grin, "Why don't you go first Allen? We'll cheer you on!"

Allen smiled and gave the pair a thumbs up before accepting a set of baseballs from the elderly man, who gave him an encouraging pat on the back. Meanwhile, Lavi pulled the unsuspecting Kanda aside, causing him to stumble slightly on his own two feet.

"What the hell?" Kanda spoke in a rushed whisper as if not to raise their third friend's suspicions. 

"You need to go ahead and get over yourself, and ask Allen out already! Go on the Ferris wheel later, 'kay?" The redhead commanded before shoving the Japanese back towards the booth, which, unfortunately, resulted in his collision with a lithe frame. 

"Ow..." Allen groaned beneath the older boy, his cheeks resembling roses as he became aware of who exactly was on top of him.

Jerking upward, Kanda scurried away from the younger teen, his face stained pink with embarrassment. The albino sat upright in a daze, a furious blush apparent on his normally milky skin.

"Ah... Young love..." Lavi sighed dreamily, earning a pair of glares from his friends.

...

After remedying the small imbroglio, Kanda took his turn at the ball toss game and, of course, being the superior in all things athletic, won on his very first try. 

"What prize would ya like, sonny?"

Skimming over the various stuffed animals of all shapes, sizes, and colors, the Asian averted his gaze of dark cobalt and turned his attention to his white-haired friend.

"Moyashi, come here." He ordered.

Obediently but hesitantly, Allen reluctantly stood beside Kanda, blinking in surprise as the older boy asked, "Which one do you want?"

"Huh? But you won!" The albino protested.

"Che. As if I want one of those fluffy fucks. Just pick one." Kanda turned his head away defiantly, hiding the dusty pink mixing with his olive skin tone.

Shifting his footing awkwardly, Allen browsed over his options for a moment before deciding, "Can I have the dark cat over there?" He pointed a gloved finger towards a small, black cat in the corner, somewhat hidden in the shadows. 

Both Lavi and Kanda looked at their younger friend in shock, surprised he didn't pick the white teddy bear he had been gawking at previously. The old man brought out the cat and gently dropped the soft doll into the petite boy's arms.

Suddenly, a voice broke the silence as a feminine shout was heard over a crowd, "Lavi!" Lenalee waved her hand vigorously as she jogged towards them, a broad smile sweeping across her features as she noticed the presence of her best friends. 

"Hey guys!"

"Hi, Lenalee!" Lavi and Allen chimed simultaneously, Kanda following suit with a signature "che."

"You guys mind if I borrow Lavi? I'm here with a couple of friends who have been dying to meet him!" Lenalee grabbed her redheaded boyfriend's hand, her grin reaching her amethyst eyes as she looked into Lavi's single green one. 

"Not at all." Kanda snorted, making a grab for Allen's arm as he pulled him away from the couple.

"I'll catch up with you guys later!" Lavi shouted after them, a smirk plastered on his face as he watched them leave.

"You so owe me for that." Lenalee remarked, a similar look gleaming in her eyes. 

"Operation Yullen was a success!" They fisted the air together, laughing maniacally. 

...

A comfortable silence cut between Allen and Kanda as they ventured slowly across the fairgrounds, both of them gazing up at the Ferris wheel with an unspoken wonder. 

Kanda, surprisingly enough, was the one to interrupt the silence, "Why'd you pick the cat?"

Allen smirked, "It has the same hair color as the person I like."

"I have that hair color."

"I know."

The two teens laced their fingers together as they made their way towards the glamorous splendor of the bright lights of the Ferris wheel.


	7. Shout At The Devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Shout At The Devil - Motley Crüe

It wasn't supposed to be this way. After all, they were a pair of exorcists working under the hand of an all powerful god. The last thing they needed to be doing was sinning beneath his all seeing eyes. However, even as hushed voices whispered shamefully of the heavens in lustful murmurs, they didn't stop.

Soft moans resounded as a pair of slick tongues clashed together passionately in a storm of removed clothing, battling urgently for dominance. Passionate caresses and touches were exchanged as whispers of sweet-nothings quietly echoed throughout the night. The younger of the two cried out to God in a cloud of heavenly bliss as his virgin innocence was tainted by the thrusting of another.

Allen clutched the soiled sheets below him as his lover, Kanda, picked up the pace, his thrusts becoming harder and faster as he found the albino's sweet spot. As they cried out together in orgasmic pleasure, they were no longer crying out to God.

They were shouting at the Devil.


	8. Hospital For Souls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Hospital For Souls - Bring Me The Horizon

Inhaling sharp, raspy breaths, Kanda delivered one last blow to the red punching bag, knocking it to the ground with a harsh thud. Leaning against a nearby wall for support, the Japanese teen wiped the sweat from his brow, panting from exhaustion. 

"Kanda..." A small voice spoke up from the bench beside him, evident concern laced in his words, "Pushing yourself like this won't wake Allen up..."

"Shut up." Kanda barked at the redhead, his tone low and bitter as he harshly struck the punching bag once more with his foot, crumpling to his knees after doing so. 

The redhead rushed to his best friend's side, slinging one of the Asian boy's arms around his shoulders as he looped his own around his waist. Helping him to his feet, Lavi pressed his lips into a tight line as he saw the stray tears trailing down Kanda's face, his heart aching with sympathy at the sight of his friend's pitiful state. 

"You've gotta stop doing this to yourself... If Allen saw you like this--" Lavi began but was soon cut off.

"Don't..." His usually stoic friend pleaded in a soft whimper, his strong facade steadily dissolving with each passing moment. He uncharacteristically resembled a frightened child, alone and afraid. Afraid of the self destruction brought upon by the loss of his most cherished worldly possession, a possession tied to a machine, the machine being the only determinate of whether or not Allen would fade from existence. 

"Come on... Let's get you cleaned up and afterwards, we can visit Allen for a bit." Lavi whispered in a gentle tone, rubbing soothing circles on Kanda's side in attempt to calm his quaking form. 

...

Kanda stared blankly at the grungy shower walls of the gym, ice cold water raining down on his bare back like stinging pens and needles, his dark eyes seemingly void of all feeling as he immersed himself in his memories.

It was pouring down rain outside the smudged windows of the corner cafe. Allen and Kanda sat across from each other at a lone table seated away from the other occupants, gazing out at the storm stirring behind the oil-stained glass of the windows, sipping hot tea casually from porcelain mugs. 

Allen ran his fingers through the white mop of his freshly dyed hair, sighing contently as he propped his elbow against the polished wood of the table, silver eyes lingering on the window just a moment before flickering over to Kanda, who shifted awkwardly in his seat beneath the gaze of the other. The white-haired teen failed to stifle a laugh at the sight of his flustered rival, his lips curved upward in his usual pearly white smile.

"I knew I'd get rejected." He said, shrugging his shoulders apathetically, "You have your reputation you need to keep up after all. Besides, you're totally straight. I just needed to get my feelings out there, you know, just in case you..." His voice trailed off, his smile disappearing for a split second before he quickly recovered his normally cheery composure, "Well, anyway! You have a match in a bit, right?"

Kanda nodded cautiously, taking another sip of his tea, which now felt cold and bitter on his taste buds. 

"I'll walk you to campus." The younger man offered with a charming, polite smile.

"I'm perfectly capable of walking myself." The Asian man protested.

"Oh hush. You don't even have an umbrella and it's pouring."

The older glared daggers at the white-haired boy, who merely rolled his eyes at his friend's stubborn nature, "Don't worry. I'm not going to try anything." 

...

Exiting the cafe, Allen unhooked his umbrella, letting its metal branches extend as he held it above his and Kanda's heads. Kanda scoffed.

"What?" Allen questioned curiously, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

The Japanese smirked, "You're almost my height now."

"Yeah, now you can't call me a bean sprout anymore." He teased. 

"Tch. I said almost. You're still a sprout to me."

"Yeah, well--"

It all happened in the blink of an eye. Allen shoved Kanda forward, sending him stumbling away from the crosswalk and onto the safety of the sidewalk. A car zoomed towards Allen, the driver's face frozen in horror as he knew he was incapable of stopping in time.

"ALLEN!" Kanda screamed at the top of his lungs.

There was a crash. A black umbrella flew in the air like a crow summoning death. The limp body of a young college student lay still, sprawled out lifelessly in the street, his pure, freshly dyed white hair ruined by the red paint of his blood.

Kanda rushed towards the broken body of the boy, cradling his bloodied head in his arms. Tearing off his white flannel, Kanda applied pressure to the head wound, blood soaking the now reddened fabric. 

"Somebody call a fucking ambulance!"

A lump of bile rose up Kanda's throat as he remembered all of the blood coating his hands. Allen's blood. His rejection's blood. His beloved's blood.

...

"You idiot..." Kanda whispered bitterly as he gently squeezed the seemingly lifeless, fragile hand of Allen, who lay peacefully asleep on a hospital bed, his head wrapped in bandages. Little pieces of blood-stained white hair poked through the curtain of bandages, taunting the visitor with unwanted memories.

"I take back what I said... Fuck my rep. If you wake up, we can go on an actual date, not just as friends... Promise."

The only response were the frequent beeps of the heart monitor and Allen's barely audible breathing. 

"Remember when we were teenagers? How you used to always seem to have a death wish? You haven't changed..."

Silence. 

"You're still a martyr... But if you die from this sacrifice... I'll never forgive you."

Silence.

Suddenly, Kanda's eyes widened as he looked at the younger boy's sleeping face, noticing a shine just below his eyes. Leaning closer, he realized it was water.

Small teardrops trickled slowly down Allen's cheeks.

The heart monitor strained for just a moment before letting out a high pitched monotonous beep. 

Forgive me...


	9. She's An Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: She's An Angel - Nightcore

Everyday was a hazy blur. Everything and everyone seemed suspended in a dark gray cloud filled to the maximum capacity with ignorant teens habitually following their everyday routines. Everything, everyone, everyday, a dull, gray blur.

Kanda, an anomaly compared to most average high school students, slung a bag full of school supplies over his shoulder before beginning his trek towards the school. His classmates, all somewhat acquainted with the popular athlete, waved at him as he passed, polite smiles plastered to their faces.

The Sakura trees on either side of him were blooming beautifully, delicate petals gently descending in a swirl of pink wind. He gazed fondly at the lovely pink, appreciative of what little color there was in his life. His thoughts were dismantled, however, by a loud shriek emerging from just up ahead. 

Usually, he'd avoid any form of commotion, yet somehow, today was different. The large crowd that had surrounded the horrified shriek drew him in.

In the center of the crowd stood two boys wearing identical school uniforms, one holding up the other by the shirt collar. The sea of teens around them seemed to continuously recite a threatening incantation, "Fight! Fight!"

The predator snarled at his prey, causing the small boy to cringe in his deadly grip. The hostage jerked his head to the side, sparkling silver eyes widened in terror as he locked gazes with Kanda, begging to be saved. He resembled a frightened cherub with hair as white as snow and eyes as iridescent as the moon. He wasn't gray unlike his captor and those egging on his apparent punishment. Rather, he was the magnificent silver of an angel, divinely superior to all.

Kanda stepped forward, "Why don't you pick on someone your own size? After all, preying on the weak just makes you look like a coward."

The bully spun around, a cocky grin on his rugged face, and dropped his victim, who scurried a few feet away from the pair, eyes glued to Kanda's elegant form with glimmering admiration. 

"You gotta problem, girly man?"

"Tch. Obviously, you idiot."

The Asian teen's classmates squealed with excitement at his remark, finding delight in this rare confrontation between their idol and a scumbag. Aware of the upperclassman's reputation as captain of the kendo team, the bully visibly flinched as Kanda flexed toned muscles. Launching towards him in hopes of catching him off guard, his jaw met Kanda's merciless fist as he hit the ground with a harsh thud. The audience raised their hands in the air with a roar of approval. 

"Learned your lesson yet?" The older teen asked coolly. 

"What lesson? That you punch like a girl?" He spat, rubbing his bruised jaw with his thumb.

"Get him, Kanda-senpai!" A girl screamed from the crowd, causing the older boy to smirk arrogantly.

Again, his opponent hurled himself towards him, sounding a determined battle cry. 

"You can do it, Kanda-senpai!" The white-haired angel shouted through cupped hands upon learning his savior's name.

Suddenly, Kanda grasped the bully's arm in a vice grip, twisting it behind his back at an awkward angle, causing his opponent to let out a cry of pain.

"I'll let go if you apologize to my friend," Kanda whispered menacingly, "Or perhaps you'd like a crippled arm instead?"

"Like that weird Allen kid? Hell no!"

He twisted it further, a pathetic whimper following suit.

"Apologize." He hissed between gritted teeth.

"Okay! Okay! I give! I'm sorry, Allen!"

He released his arm, glaring daggers at the retreating back of the young bully. Cheers erupted all around and quickly quieted down as each student hurried off to class, hoping to keep their good records of punctuality and avoid tedious lectures from their teachers. The only two that remained frozen in place were Kanda and his silver angel.

"Thank you so much for rescuing me," Allen spoke up in a soft voice, bowing in appreciation, "My name is Allen Walker. I'm a foreign exchange student from England. It's nice to meet you, Kanda-senpai. I've heard a lot about-"

He was cut off when Kanda suddenly gripped his chin gently between his fingers. Allen's cheeks became stained with the light pink of the cherry blossoms as he took note of the older boy's close proximity. 

"Wh-what are you-"

"Bean sprout." Kanda blurted suddenly.

"E-excuse me?!" Allen exclaimed, completely flustered. 

Kanda blinked twice, simply replying, "Tch. You're small. Like a bean sprout."

"Y-yeah? Well, I bet you're dumb! Like a... a... baka! BaKanda!" The white-haired teen retorted, face contorting in confusion as the upperclassman merely smirked at the remark.

"I like you. You're not gray like everyone else. You're silver. Like an angel." Kanda shrugged before walking away towards his class, leaving the smaller boy alone in a cloud of confusion.

Maybe I should study up on my Japanese... He thought, running after the strange boy, who would soon become his lover.


	10. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Broken - Seether ft. Amy Lee

They thought I didn't see it, the forbidden bond blossoming between them just as the fruit of knowledge did between Adam and Eve, a hidden joy shared between curious souls. Yes, perhaps it is better they believe me to be clueless.

They knew not of my prying eye of emerald, glancing sympathetically at their intertwined fingers hidden beneath the surface of the dining hall table. No, they knew not of my worried glimpses of the pained expressions they wore as they whispered silent goodbyes to one another each time one was assigned a mission, unaware of whether they'd make it back alive or not. Such was the way of an exorcist, a soldier chosen by God to rid the world of the demons possessing lost souls, a pain not many understood, seeing as only a small number remained in this world, the rest reaching out towards the next.

On the outer shell, the world we let others believe in, Allen smiled brightly as always, munching away on his mountain of food, as Kanda sat with his precious sword at his side, glaring at those surrounding him as he slurped at his usual serving of soba noodles. Oh, how normal it seemed to the outside eye belonging to Lenalee and myself. However, I knew better than to believe in that. 

The faked smiles. The secret glances of concern. The terrified glint in their eyes as the other walked towards their possibly impending doom. 

I was particularly known for my observatory skills despite my jocose nature, meaning I knew much more than meets the eye. Being a member of the Bookman clan, this was merely an expectation, nothing particularly worth noting. However, in this situation, I cursed my own name.

I didn't want to see Allen's dissipating strength as the Fourteenth Noah slowly took control of his very soul like an incurable disease. Nor did I wish to admit that Kanda's growing concern for the younger boy would lead to his eventual demise. 

I particularly didn't want to know of the growing affection the two held for each other as time went on. It wasn't that I felt disgust for this strange relationship in general. No, it was the destruction of this peculiar bond I absolutely feared.

My two best friends, who I had grown to adore, held each other together when all hope for returning the puzzle pieces to their original places was lost. They kept each other going in a world of madness and destruction. But what would happen to Kanda when Allen succumbed to the darkness? What would hold him together?

Allen would eventually be killed and despite the fact that he wouldn't be himself anymore, being conquered by the darkness as the world tainted his undeniable innocence, everyone was fully aware of the insanity that awaited the fate of the samurai, who would most likely act as the deliverer of death to his beloved comrade.

It would break him.

Forever, we will remain broken.


	11. The Crossdresser

My breath caught in my throat at the very sight of her, something that rarely occurred in my case, but right now, it was perfectly suitable. 

"Kanda, you will be performing, as well as 'dating,' at least in front of the media, with Ms. Alli Allen, a famous sixteen-year-old English pop star that debuted in Tokyo, Japan after being scouted by my friend on his vacation to Liverpool. Apparently, she was a street performer and rather unique in the manner in which she performed. She's very popular among the younger crowd, so play nice." My manager had informed me prior to our meeting.

Staring at her now, I clearly understood why she was so popular. Even if she didn't make it as a musician, she could have easily made it in modeling.

"It's nice to meet you. Kanda, right?" She greeted me, her voice surprisingly deeper than I expected, though it was sweet like honey. 

I nodded slowly, taking in the splendor of her appearance, noticing how she was rather lacking in the height category, the black heels she wore making up for it considerably, though she was still shorter than me by a long shot. 

A pair of friendly silver orbs swirling with strange mesmerizing golden specks returned my stare with the same analytical intent, my own cobalt eyes landing on the strange pentacle-shaped tattoo surrounding her right eye. The silver of her eyes complemented her stark white hair, identical twin ponytails on either side of her head, which cascaded gently down her slender shoulders. As my eyes roamed down the delicate frame of her body, I noticed she was rather flat, my cheeks lightly flushed at the mere thought as I averted my eyes from the black tank-top and back to her face. Her cheeks seemed to hold a stain of color, resembling that of a rose as she held eye contact with me, never breaking her gaze until I cleared my throat awkwardly. 

"Uh? Ready to go?" I asked, somewhat dazed by her beauty. 

She smiled politely, offering her hand to me, "Sure. Lead the way, Rockstar."

I rolled my eyes playfully, smirking, "It's Kanda."

She snorted, "Excuse me, Kanda."

Taking her hand in mine, I noticed her fair skin reddening profusely as she intertwined our fingers, the gesture clearly foreign to her, which honestly surprised me. This beautiful girl modest? You'd think she'd be more out there. 

Together, we walked onstage, playing the part of the perfect show biz couple, our voices tuned together in a perfect duet for two new and very affectionate lovers. Her voice was light and smooth, flowing easily with my deeper vocals as our voices twirled together in a melodious unison, the audience erupting in applause each time we shared a brief glance of emotion or affectionate touch. Had it been anyone else, I might have been sick, but fortunately, I somehow managed to stomach the cheesy cliche as I saw the raw emotion gleaming in her eyes, inspiring me to move forward.

As the show reached its close, I felt bitter disappointment well up in the pit of my stomach as we parted ways backstage, her heels quietly clomping away in the opposite direction. 

Returning to my dressing room for a brief moment to remove the makeup applied prior to the show, my gut churned uncomfortably, yearning for the presence of the girl who somehow made me feel different than any other. On a whim, I retraced her footsteps, determined to introduce myself to her properly, and thankfully, managed to stumble upon my fellow musician's dressing room. 

Without a second thought, I barged in, my voice catching in my throat as I saw the bare torso of Alli Allen, a pair of white twin hair extensions resting on the nearby vanity.

"Alli Allen" was a boy.

"Shut the door! Quickly!" He ordered, covering his exposed body with the black tank-top he had just peeled off.

I quickly did as I was told, still in shock at the sudden twist of events.

"You're... A boy..." I murmured, eyes widened in surprise, shaking my head in attempt to snap out of my previous state of shock before following up with a question, "What's your real name? Who are you?"

"Um... I'm Allen. Allen Walker. It's uh... Nice to formally... Introduce myself..." Allen blushed, clearly embarrassed.

Hesitantly, I approached him, my heart thudding rapidly in my chest at the sight of the flushed face of the white-haired boy. 

"Look, I'm sorry. I-it's just... I was desperate for money and a Japanese man just came on a day I was playing the part of a female character... And he liked it a lot... And it just kinda stuck. I didn't mean to deceive you, honest! Please don't tell! I--mmph!" He began to babble before I cut him off, sealing our lips together in a kiss, snaking my arms around his petite waist, drawing him closer to me in a desperate attempt to discover my feelings. 

I was surprised to find him eagerly kissing back, his small hands hesitantly resting on my chest. Our lips moved together in perfect sync, the kiss slowly growing more heated as I pressed him against the nearby wall. He parted his lips slightly, our tongues brushing against one another, bodies succumbing to lust. Abruptly, he pulled away, panting, our lips still connected by a small string of saliva. 

"I... Um..." Allen breathed, face flushed beet red, "Is this how you are with all the girls?"

I chuckled quietly to myself, planting another small kiss on his soft, pink lips, "Just the ones who turn out to be pretty boys."

He snickered softly at my joke, "So you think I'm pretty?" 

"You weren't even wearing much makeup and you were probably one of the prettiest damn girls I've ever seen."

"Why, Kanda, you flatter me. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're coming onto me." He giggled, his breath suddenly hitching in his throat as I pressed my body closer to his.

"Did I make it too obvious?" I smirked as he bit his lip.

"I gotta warn you, I'm a tough one to deal with sir." Allen whispered, giving a soft moan of approval as my lips gently nipped at his neck. 

"Well? Seeing as we're already boyfriend and girlfriend to the outside world, why not make it official?"

"You remember you just discovered me being a guy, right?"

"I'm willing to try anything once for someone who can get my heart beating as fast as you fucking did." I felt my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. 

He smiled the brightest smile I had ever seen, an equally bright blush contrasting with his milky skin.

"I promise I won't disappoint then."


	12. The Slumber Party

Lenalee sat cross-legged on the carpeted floor, humming the tune of a soft rock song flowing from the large speakers of her stereo system, a small bottle of cotton candy pink nail polish sitting in her lap. Gently, she held Diana's delicate hand in hers as she applied another coat of paint to the older girl's neatly trimmed fingernails, her tongue slightly poking out from her closed lips in a concentrated expression. Diana giggled as the hairs of the tiny paintbrush tickled at the tips of her fingers, Lenalee quietly swearing under her breath as she snatched up a tissue, dabbing at the misplaced spots of pink. 

Yawning tiredly, the Chinese girl glanced over at the digital numbering of her alarm clock, watching as the digits blinked at her like a pair of sleepless eyes. 

2:18 A.M.

Sweeping her vision across the room, she took note of its occupants for what seemed like the first time in ages, suddenly intrigued by the differing tasks of her guests. 

Diana sat directly in front of her, hand held out with mismatched fingernails, some stained cotton candy pink, some the original pale pink of underlying flesh. Thick, dark locks of sausage curled hair coiled together around her face, which was painted rather heavily with makeup, her skin glimmering like lovely, fragile porcelain. Her eyelids were a dazzling shade of blue with wedges of black eyeliner carefully pointed at the ends of her eyes, her piercing green eyes seemingly duller in comparison to the makeup. A pale pink lipgloss glistened against her heart-shaped lips, which were stretched into a broad grin.

Leaning against the lavender wall, Miranda sat by her lonesome beside a large closet, her nose buried in a green book with a broken spine, the letters fading from the cover with age. Smeared blotches of black eyeliner gathered around her dark eyes, her hair tied back in a sloppy bun to keep from falling into her face. Every now and then, her hollow eyes would wander to the slightly cracked door of the closet, as if she were a child paranoid of a monster clawing its way out. 

Finally, there was Allen, who sat on a pink beanbag in the corner just a few feet away from Miranda, an orange flower-shaped pillow clutched tightly in his arm. His bleached stark white hair fell in his face, framing his round cheeks and hiding the star-shaped scar above his right eye, light brown roots peeking their way out of his hairline. The bluish light of his cellphone, which he had been on since 10 o'clock, lit up his silver eyes as he chewed at his bottom lip tentatively, his thumbs punching in unknown characters on his keyboard. 

"Who've you been texting all night, Al?" Lenalee asked suddenly, breaking the silence that had comfortably settled between them, Miranda and Diana craning their heads towards her in slight surprise. 

Allen looked up from his phone, his large, round eyes widened as he gazed into the three pairs that seemed to bore holes into his body. He felt his face heat up with an intense blush as he lowered the device into his lap, silver orbs flickering to Diana for help, who merely shrugged it off with a grin.

"Isn't it obvious?" Diana spoke up, enunciating every word as she usually did to make things seem more dramatic, "He's been texting... Yu Kanda."

Lenalee gasped dramatically, a hand clapping over her mouth as Miranda fumbled for the clock key tied around her neck, mumbling a prayer for Allen's "bad luck and misfortune." 

"I didn't know you had the hots for a jock. Don't you usually go for the quiet poetic type?" Lenalee teased, amethyst eyes twinkling with mischief. 

"Oh please, he's only had a crush on him for, like, EVER. I've caught him a few times staring in the locker room!" Diana declared, the spotlight suddenly twisted on her.

"Why would YOU catch him in the BOY'S locker room?" Miranda asked, only to be waved off dismissively by her loud mouthed friend. 

"I know people." A strange glint sparkled in her green eyes. Everyone shivered, especially the victimized Allen.

Shaking her head with a sigh, Lenalee turned her attention back to the white-haired boy in the corner, shifting her body to face him, her deep green pigtails pushed behind her slender shoulders. She stared at him for a moment, analyzing him intently, before pointing an accusing finger in his direction. 

"What's up with you and Kanda?" She asked bluntly, watching with amusement as Allen raised his eyebrows in reply, his usually pale skin tinted beet red. 

"N-nothing..." The boy stuttered, casting his eyes to the device in his lap as another text appeared on its timeline.

"I didn't even know Kanda swung that way..." Diana mumbled to no one in particular, giggling a bit as Allen shot her a tiny glare. 

Lenalee cleared her throat, "You never answered me, Al. At least not truthfully." She wagged a finger at him as if he were a child that committed some sort of wrongdoing behind his parents' backs. Well, if he had parents, anyway...

"It's nothing." Allen responded more confidently this time, his bright blush betraying him, "It's just that... He, uh, needed a tutor... For math. You know, fucking math. Nobody can figure that shit out! So, uh, I happened to be in the neighborhood, and I just casually dropped by... Helped him study." 

Everybody was staring at him again, their eyes boring holes into him once more.

"That's a sad lie, even for you." Miranda snorted, picking her ancient book from off the floor and flipping back to the page she was on. 

"I know, right?" Diana agreed, "So what? He's texting you about math problems at--" She looked at the clock, "Nearly 3 in the morning? Seems very un-Kanda if you ask me."

Their victim's blush deepened to a dark crimson, burning his cheeks like a flame. 

"Tell us the truth." Lenalee implored, her eyes searching the younger boy's for an answer. 

Allen looked between the girls nervously, noticing that even Miranda gazed up from her book with curiosity gleaming in her dark eyes. He gulped, covering his face with his hands.

"W-we've been dating for three months..." He whispered, peeking from between his hands to look at the astonished expressions of his friends.

"And you never told us?!" The Chinese girl squealed, slapping her hands against the floor. 

"I-it was supposed to be a secret..." He murmured, his bottom lip poked out in a pouty face, "We didn't want people bothering us..."

"You still could have told us! This is your first real boy toy, Al! And he's a senior that won three different sports championships! You couldn't have scored any better! Well, minus his attitude..." She praised him.

Allen squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, "He's actually really sweet once you get to know him... And he's not my 'boy toy,' he's my boyfriend..."

The girls giggled.

"Have you had sex yet?" Diana asked, a mischievous gleam, matching that of Lenalee's, reflected in her green irises. 

Allen's blush seemed to be permanently staining his skin at this point, their intrusive questions never relenting. 

"N-no... We've only k-kissed..." He murmured almost inaudibly before continuing with an affectionate tone, "He said he wouldn't do anything to me unless I was sure I was ready." 

Lenalee and Miranda swooned together in a fit of teasing "aw's," giggling to themselves as they cherished their friend's adorable embarrassment. However, Diana, not being one for subtleties, went on with her intrusive interrogation, "You use tongue?"

Reluctantly, he nodded, which caused her to grin that terrifyingly wide grin that could only be taught by the devil known as Lavi. 

"Something tells me that you're not as innocent as we thought, sir. You've touched him, haven't you?"

At this, even the girls blushed a bit, intrigued by the thought of someone like Allen succumbing to temptation. 

Slowly, he nodded, "O-one time... That's it." His face burned with the heat of one thousand suns. 

Silence.

Suddenly, Diana hopped up from her position on the floor, quickly scurrying to where Allen sat and snatching up his phone, to which he vehemently protested. She ran to the other side of the room, taking refuge behind Lenalee, who battled off the white-haired boy with the help of Miranda, the two girls struggling to keep him at bay. 

"Oh-ho! They're dropping the big L word like a bomb!"

"Wha??? Lemme see!" Lenalee dropped Allen's hands, reaching for the device.

2:22 AM  
FROM: Yu Kanda<3  
"I'm serious, you know. I really DO love you. You know I wouldn't say it unless I meant it, right?"

2:25AM  
TO: Yu Kanda<3   
"I know you wouldn't lol. And I love you too!!<3 I just... I guess I don't get why."

2:29AM  
FROM: Yu Kanda<3  
"Tough one to please, aren't you, sprout? Tch. Fine. 

You are probably the only person on this planet that manages to piss me off instantly, yet I can never stay mad at you because you'll look at me with those big ass eyes of yours and suddenly, everything's fine. Plus, you're the only one man enough to actually stand up to me, which, I must say, is actually pretty hot, but moving on... When you smile, it's usually faked, but the one time you gave me a genuine smile, I realized I wanted to see it more often because it was just so beautiful that it made my heart race...

I'll have you know, you make me blush and that in itself should be an accomplishment. 

Asian face. -.-"

2:35AM  
TO: Yu Kanda<3  
"Awwwwww baby, you actually said something cheesy and cliche. I'm so proud! xD

Fyi, your blush is adorable, so hush your Asian face. >\\\\\

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this. I really do. 
> 
> Yes, I had to bring Diana back for this little episode! Her chattery character is just perfect for it! Those who haven't read A Silver Lotus, of course, won't get the memo, so if you don't know my little fanmade character, I suggest you read it. (version on ao3 is currently incomplete, can be found on wattpad) :)
> 
> I just love embarrassing our precious Allen...


	13. Lovesick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Lovesick - Never Shout Never

Allen inched the front door open, careful not to make too much noise as he scurried out of the rain, the squeaks and crinkles of the shopping bags on his left arm betraying his silence as they seemed to echo through the corridor. With a defeated sigh, he shut the door behind him, a click resounding as the lock went back into place. Hanging the key ring on a nail by the door, he removed his muddy sneakers before shuffling down the tiled flooring and into the kitchen area, where he sat the three bags down on the recently washed countertop, the granite beneath reflecting a shine as a sign of one of his roommates' nicely done cleaning job. 

Peering out of the open window that led to the living room, he noticed the figure of none other than Kanda, whose face lit up in the bluish glow of the flickering television, his long legs stretched out comfortably on the leather sofa, his toned arms folded on his chest as he gazed at the bright screen. 

His light olive skin seemed paler in the light of the flashing screen as the various images captured behind the glass disappeared and reappeared. Long cascades of ebony locks draped around his sharp facial features, dark eyes trained on whatever it was he was watching. 

At first, Allen thought the older man hadn't noticed him, but was quick to be proven wrong when Kanda called out to him, "He finally did it." His tone was icy. 

The white-haired teen raised an inquisitive eyebrow tentatively, nibbling on his bottom lip nervously as he did so often. Kanda's gaze was torn away from the images dancing across the screen for a moment, his dark eyes now trained on his youngest roommate. 

"I'm talking about Lavi." He clarified, stretching his legs before sweeping them up and over onto the floor, his bare feet landing on the cold tiles with a quiet thud. He stood, maneuvering over to the doorway that led to the kitchen before leaning on the doorframe as he drank in my soaked appearance, curious cobalt wandering to the bags placed on the counter. 

He sighed, "Another shopping spree?"

He shook his head at me before shuffling down a nearby hallway, quickly returning with one of his larger t-shirts. Taking the hint, Allen slipped off his own, throwing it at Kanda's feet, who in turn tossed over his dry one. Removing his jeans as well, he slid them over to the Japanese, who took both articles of clothing and disappeared down the hallway once more, most likely to put the dirtied clothes in the wash.

Pulling his friend's shirt over his head, he let out a content sigh as it draped over his body, slightly covering his milky thighs. Digging through the nearby shopping bags, he smiling weakly as Kanda returned to his place at the doorframe. 

"So, he proposed to her?" Allen asked, his voice slightly trembling as he busied himself with the shopping bags. 

Kanda merely nodded his head, face stoic as ever, deafening silence following suit; the only sounds were that of the television and the rustling of plastic and paper. 

"I'm sorry," Kanda broke the silence, "I know how you feel about him."

Allen shrugged, unshed tears glossing his cloudy gray eyes. Reluctantly, the older boy strode over to his small friend, wrapping his petite frame in a tight hug. Tears stung at the corners of the younger's eyes, his delicate hands resting gently against his friend's arms.

Resting his chin on the white-haired boy's shoulder, he whispered soothingly, "So, what'd you buy this time, fag?"

Allen grinned, letting out a small chuckle mixed with a choked sob, his shaking hands reaching out towards one plastic bag in particular.

"F-funny you should m-mention that..." He whispered, a single hand digging into the contents of the bag before finding what it was looking for.

"Remember how L-Lavi broke your hairbrush..?"

Kanda nodded against his shoulder, smirking a bit as the small teen picked out a hairbrush from the bag.

It was black with clip art watermelon slices on the back, the handle leading into the rectangular shape of the brush itself.

"I know it's kinda girly, but it's the same shape as the old one... I also got these."

He gently toppled each bag onto its side, scooping out the contents with a quick motion of his hand.

On the counter lay: three seedling packets, a picture frame, an envelope, a t-shirt, two wristbands, a bottle of foam soap, a bottle of lotion, and a bottle of body spray.

He arranged each object into three separated piles, pointing at each one as he finished, "These are for you. These, for Lavi... And these are Lenalee's..."

In attempt to steer attention away from thoughts of Lavi and his fiancée, Kanda cleared his throat and pointed at the envelope in his pile of gifts, "What's in that?"

Allen smiled, picking up the envelope carefully and peeling the flap open, sliding the photographs inside onto the countertop, "These are photos I went and got from Sister Kathlin at the orphanage. We're in all of them together. Since you don't have many posters or photos in your room, I thought you could frame one of these and put it on your nightstand or something."

The older male blinked a few times before releasing his hold on the younger, swiping the photos from their place on the counter. 

There were three of them.

In the first, Kanda, only four years old, held a two year old Allen in his arms, cradling him gently. His hair, reaching only past his chin, framed his babyish face as his eyes, which seemed astonishingly blue, gazed down at the tinier boy in his arms, big round eyes of silver staring up at him, a small mop of brown hair poking out from beneath a hat. In the second, a seven year old Kanda sat across from a five year old Allen, the pair completely immersed in a game of cards, the only games Allen could beat him at consistently. In the third, an eight year old Kanda hugged a six year old Allen goodbye as he was finally adopted by Tiedoll. Allen's cheeks were tear stained, yet he smiled for the older boy, happy he finally could be apart of a family. 

The Japanese man raised his head from the photographs, the corners of his lips twitching upward in a small smile as he pulled his childhood friend into another hug, his chin resting atop the shorter man's head.

"Thank you." He whispered.

"It's the least I could do. You did come back for me after all, even though you were adopted." Allen murmured, his arms snaked around the older's waist.

"Can I tell you something?" Kanda asked suddenly, moving his head back to look down at his roommate. 

"Anything." The white-haired boy smiled, tears still marking small trails down his cheeks. Kanda wiped them away with his thumbs.

"I know you really liked Lavi, but I don't think he deserves you. Sure, he's a great friend to you and everything, but really, he kept leading you on again and again, yet you stood by him every time. Still, he'd tell you sweet things one minute and the next he'd be off with some girl. I can't stand it."

"Kanda, it's okay--" The white-haired teen began only to be interrupted.

"No. It's not. It's not fair, Allen."

"What do you mean?"

Kanda was trembling now, his grip on the younger boy tightening ever so slightly. 

"I've been here this entire time... Through it all, haven't I? Like you said, I came back for you when I had everything and you had nothing... Lavi never did, yet for some God-fucking-knows-why reason, it was always him, never me... I don't know if it's the way I look or the way I act, but through it all, I tried to give you everything... You gave it to Lavi... Tell me, why does he deserve you at all when I don't?" Hot tears were stinging at the corners of his eyes now, his mind completely immersed in his ranting.

Allen's eyes were wide as he stared up at his childhood friend, a look of bewilderment plastered on his face as long forgotten memories floated back to the surface, haunting him like a ghost. 

...

Allen sniffled, his eye blackened, his abdomen bruised, blood dripping everywhere from numerous cuts and scrapes.

Gently, Kanda dabbed at the wounds with a wet cloth, the younger boy hissing with pain from time to time. 

"I'll kill whoever did this to you." The older boy muttered under his breath.

"Please... Don't cry... I'll start walking you home, so this doesn't happen again."

...

"Happy Birthday!" Allen's friends squealed as he entered his room, Lavi and Lenalee propped up on his window seat while Kanda sat cross legged on his bed, a bouquet of roses sitting in his lap.

A light blush crossed Kanda's features as he shoved the roses into the younger teen's hands, muttering a "happy birthday."

Allen smiled. 

...

Lavi and Allen sat side by side in the same seat, Kanda seated across from them as he watched Allen giggle nonstop at the silly facial expressions the redhead continuously made.

The Japanese boy glared at the pair, but Allen didn't notice, seeing as Kanda seemed to wear that expression as a mask 24/7, any joy almost permanently ripped from his features.

...

Allen was completely dumbstruck as he watched the normally stoic man crumble before him, his heart breaking into pieces as he stared. 

Kanda held him tightly in his arms as if letting go of him would cause him physical pain. His body trembled with a mixture of anger and sorrow, bottled in emotions seeping out of him rapidly like never before, a small piece of his former self shadowing over him. 

"Kanda, sweetheart, look at me..." Allen whispered soothingly, his hands reaching up to gently caress the older boy's face, a painful gaze of cobalt landing on serene silver, "I'm sorry I couldn't see it, but Lavi is gone now. You have your chance right here and right now to make me see it. And when I do, I hope you'll forgive me. I took advantage of what you gave to me without batting an eye and I'm so deeply sorry. You're right. You came back for me. Lavi is not. And for everything I put you through, all those late nights crying to you about my cruddy love life and you putting up with it despite your feelings, that is enough reason for you to deserve everything I can give back..."

Slowly, Allen leaned in, closing the space between them, his lips pressing against Kanda's in a bittersweet kiss. Their lips melded together, growing more passionate as they hungered for one another, their hearts thudding wildly in their chests. 

"Hey guys! We're-- oh." Lavi and Lenalee walked by the doorframe, eyes growing wide as they saw the scene rolled out before them. 

Lenalee clamped a hand to her nose, blood dripping from her nostrils, cheeks flushed a vivid pink. Lavi felt a mixture of both jealousy and happiness for the newly formed couple, his usual toothy grin plastered on his face in a mischievous facade. 

"You owe me ten bucks." Lenalee told the redhead in a rushed whisper, hurrying towards the bathroom to clean her nose before dialing up Diana, "Code 14: Yullen is a go! I repeat! Yullen is a go!"

"WAHH??? That shit is SO going to be trending on Twitter by next week, just you wait! #Yullen4Ever!" Diana squealed on the other line.


	14. Who Says

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Who Says - Selena Gomez

I sat alone under the cherry tree once again, watching as the gleeful children below the hillside frolicked through the fields, some with kites, some with jump ropes, others with toys brought from home. Flipping absentmindedly through a book I had already reread three times, a shriek from below caught my attention as I noticed some of the older boys crossing over the fence, no doubt bullying some poor younger boy who had provoked them. With the shrug of my tiny shoulders, I brought my knees up to my chest with another lonesome sigh, drinking in the scenery below. 

Bright green grass seemed to stream endlessly until it was cut off by the newly paved main road a few yards in front of the school campus, the whirring of trucks and cars often heard in the distance. Yellow flowers dotted the schoolyard along with kicked up soil from soccer games as children kicked the ball to and fro across the outstretched field, their occasional cheers resonating throughout the grounds. Blue and red kites floated gently through the cloudless sky, flying through the wind like colorful birds. Boys chased after their friends in games of freeze tag whilst Professor Reever scolded them for running much too quickly, warning them of the dangers of tripping over rocks.

Turning my gaze towards my deformed arm, I mentally cursed the grotesque disfigurement as it was the reason for my isolation from the other children, the reason they refused my friendship. The charred flesh seemed to mock me as I weakly raised it in front of my face, my brain urging my fingers to move as they struggled to wiggle before me.

Feeling the presence of another, I immediately snapped my head around to notice a boy staring at me, an inquisitive eyebrow raised at me in question. An upperclassman who somehow managed to cross the borderline of the fence that kept the two different classes separate during recess as the older boys and girls were allowed to use their Innocence as practice during recess.

He seemed about nine, whereas I was seven, and stood a bit taller than me in height, his waist slender and his stride confident. His Asian features showed through his light olive skin tone and his dark eyes, which were slightly slanted at the corners. Shoulder-length ebony hair framed his sharp facial features, his seemingly calloused hands reaching up to tie the locks back into a tight ponytail to prevent the wind from whipping it into his face. A sheath that seemed a bit too long for his height was strapped to his back, knocking at the back of his thighs each time he shifted his weight onto the opposite foot. 

Great, I thought, he's here to test out his sword on me. Just what I need! 

With a stoic expression plastered on his face, he took a few steps closer, his arms now folded across his chest. He stared at me for a moment, his dark eyes roving over my body as if debating if I was worth his time or not.

"What's your name?" He finally spoke, his expression never faltering, the slight hint of a Japanese accent visible in his rough pronunciation of the syllables. 

"What's it to you?" I replied flatly, my voice sounding hoarse as I had not spoken to an actual person in quite some time. 

One corner of his lips twitched upward into a smirk, "Tch. You should ask yourself that, Moyashi."

"Mo-ya-shi?" I murmured the syllables to myself, unsure if my pronunciation was correct. My snow-colored brows knitted together in confusion. 

"Bean sprout." He clarified, marching over to where I sat and plopping down beside me, his hands hooked together behind his head as he leaned against them onto the trunk of the tree, crossing his ankles over one another.

For some reason, I didn't move away from the peculiar character. Somehow, I was oddly drawn to him like a magnet, my gray eyes boring into him as he stared at the scenery below that I had grown so accustomed to observing on my own. 

"Allen Walker." I mumbled reluctantly after a few moments of silence, my eyes suddenly downcast as my feet suddenly became the most interesting thing in the world.

He turned to look at me, his smirk reappearing as he returned my introduction, "Yu Kanda. Just Kanda if you don't wanna wake up breathing through a tube."

Allowing a few more moments of silence to pass us by, he spoke up again, my ears graciously perking up at the welcomed conversation, "Why aren't you playing?"

I frowned, "Nobody likes me." 

He chanced another glance at me and I winced slightly as his gaze lingered for too long, hoping he hadn't spotted the abomination resting just beside his thigh. 

"Who cares?"

I jumped, startled slightly at the animosity in his tone.

"Who cares?" Kanda repeated vehemently, one of his hands breaking loose from the other as he suddenly grabbed my crippled arm in his calloused hand as if he had done it a thousand times, "It's just an arm."

I stared at him, my gray eyes widened in surprise as he touched the blackened arm I had grown to hate, my vision blurring slightly with unshed tears. 

"Look at this." He whispered softly, gently placing my arm in my lap before he lifted up his shirt, exposing a strange black tattoo on his chest, "All of us have flaws."

"K-Kanda..." I spoke his name for the first time in a hoarse whisper, my body lurching forward to embrace this stranger.

For the first time in my life, after my father's death, I wept in someone else's arms, the arms of someone who accepted me. 

"Just keep walking." Kanda whispered in my ear as he patted my back soothingly, a choked sob escaping my lips as I clutched onto him tighter, refusing to ever let go.

I never did.

...

Eleven years later, I celebrated my eighteenth birthday in my new home complete with a dashing man named Yu Kanda. We sat by a fireplace, singing songs by our favorite musicians with two close friends whilst drinking champagne bought by one of their brothers.

And I was happy because I had friends.

But more importantly, I was happy because I had him.

Yu Kanda.


	15. The Ballad of the Courtesan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Oirantan - Kiryu

The lone courtesan sat solemnly in the emerald grass of the courtyard, gazing up silently at the evening sky full of splashes of deep oranges and purples, the famed brothel owned by his master a stark contrast to the beauty of the grotto as butterflies of various origin fluttered in the late afternoon breeze. 

He sighed with resignation while absentmindedly tugging at the torn sleeve of his faded blue yukata, the design now merely blurred images of faded pinks and greens. Resting a blackened hand on his thigh, he flinched beneath his own touch, the exposed milky cream of his skin blemished by vicious bruising bite marks. Tears swelled in his stormy gray eyes as he fought the urge to weep, his swollen lips smeared with crimson lipstick folded into a tight line as he choked down a pained sob.

"Boy, why are you crying?" A man's deep voice spoke up from the village pathway, causing the courtesan to jump in surprise.

He quickly blinked away his surprise, his sorrows vanishing instantly as they morphed into heated bitterness, "Why do you care, human? You're all the same with your sick pleasures. You only care about me if you plan to bed me," The boy snarled, removing long strands of white hair from his eyes to glare at the man, revealing a strange red pentacle marring his otherwise flawless skin.

The stranger snorted, shifting his footing as he stared at the youth, "I don't find pleasure in comforting a faerie prostitute. And even if I were to stoop so low as to go to a brothel, I can promise you, the last thing I would do is to pretend I care."

The man's dark eyes bore into the courtesan's for a moment as he noted the tears slowly streaming down the boy's cheeks, his clouded gray eyes red and puffy with untold sorrow. As he drank in the boy's battered appearance, he noticed a missing structure, his hard stare softening slightly with sympathy as he stared at the delicate creature.

"Where are your wings?" He asked suddenly. 

The boy didn't answer at first, and instead gave him a crooked smile, retrieving a small pouch from the confines of a wooden post, opening it only to reveal crumbled flakes of sparkling silver, "You, humans, cut them out so I couldn't fly away."

They sat there in silence for a few minutes, gazing at each other until the stranger's lips quirked up into a smirk.

"Be careful coming out here. Your employer has stationed his business close to the forest where a band of demon thieves dwell. They've been known to kidnap faeries and sell them off to even worse places for a profit." The man warned before disappearing in the wood, his footsteps crunching on the leaves of the forest floor, fireflies the only source of light as the sun no longer lingered on the horizon.

...

Rhythmic grunts resonated throughout the small room as a plump man in his mid-forties drove deeper into the courtesan with every thrust, the poor white-haired faerie on his hands and knees, biting his red-stained lips to stifle his cries. The fat pervert let out an orgasmic groan as he finished the boy off, the white bodily fluid dripping onto the floor as he pulled out with a wide, lazy grin as he kissed the petite boy's spine.

The youth wiped himself off and quickly retrieved his only article of clothing from the corner he had thrown it in, the faded blue silk draped around his ravaged body as he accepted his payment from his creep of a customer, who winked at him as he shoved the correct number of bills into the boy's hands. The prostitute smiled as required of him and watched as the man dressed himself and left with a disgustingly satisfied yellow-toothed grin plastered on his face. 

"Allen!" The voice of his master called from the lobby area, urgency evident in his tone.

With a roll of his eyes, Allen rushed towards the front of the godforsaken building, knowing he'd be in knee deep shit if he didn't hurry to cater to his master's needs.

As he slid open the door leading to the lobby, he noticed a familiar young man seated across from his master, his expression conveying no hints as to whatever this was about. Instantly, Allen knew who he was but said nothing to reveal the identity of the stranger who had confronted him in the grotto just a week prior. 

Now that he could afford a good look at the human teen, he was slightly embarrassed to admit that the young man possessed many handsome features that most likely made him extremely popular among women. Long cascades of ebony silk fell haphazardly about his shoulders, small strands stuck to his high cheekbones due to the humidity of the climate, outlining his sharp facial features covered in flawless olive skin. His eyes were slanted slightly, portraying some sort of oriental heritage, his eyes a strange shade of cobalt that seemed to pop out more since most would expect them to be brown. His body was toned with muscle and draped in the clothes of a respectable nobleman. A katana sword lay across his lap in a black sheath. 

The faerie plopped onto a floor cushion between the two, looking back and forth between the man and his master, waiting for someone to speak.

His master spoke up first, puffing out a large ring of smoke from his cigar as he talked, "It seems this young man would like to purchase you for himself, Allen."

"Purchase... me..? B-but I bring in the most money!" The boy objected, gesturing towards the back rooms of the brothel, his gaze turning to the apparent customer as his round, silver eyes widened in shock. 

"I'm well aware, but this man simply gave me an offer I just couldn't refuse." The old redhead smirked, his eyes roving over a large wad of cash thrown onto the low wooden table. 

Allen's eyes widened considerably as they landed on the amount of crumpled bills in the huge pile of money, his protests reduced to incoherent gibberish as he snapped his head back and forth between the two, unable to form a complete sentence with his own tongue.

"So, tell me, sir, of your background before I blindly allow you to take my most prized whore." Master Cross propped his elbows on the table, crushing his cigar in a glass ashtray nearby as he blew out his last puff of smoke, the buyer scrunching up his nose at the wretched stench.

"My name is Yu Kanda. I come from Mori No Mura." The stranger, apparently named Yu Kanda, began, his face as stoic as ever, "My intentions are to take him back to my village, where he will stay with two residents of fae heritage."

"Oh?" Cross blinked in surprise, "And for what purpose? Are these faeries servants of yours?" The older man leaned in closer, dark eyes glinting with drunken curiosity.

"No. They are friends. Where I come from, there are various races outcasted by their homelands that take refuge there. I feel that this faerie could prosper much more if he were to be with his own kind, seeing as members of the fae community seem to be dwindling in number of late."

"Ah, so you're some sort of environmentalist or something, who wants him to make more fae? Well, if that's the case, and he prospers as you say... I mean, his father did leave him under my protection, so I expect a small fee every month or so, if you will, for my generous sale of my precious Allen."

Allen opened his mouth to argue against this transaction, but was quickly cut off by Yu Kanda, who managed to speak faster than the faerie could, "That can be arranged."

"We have a deal." The two men shook hands, the older redhead wearing a triumphant grin as the faerie just sat there, stunned. 

'Who the hell is this guy?!' He thought. 

...

"I don't understand why you did this." Allen muttered for what seemed like the billionth time, crossing his arms over his chest, trying hard to avoid any eye contact with his new owner as they walked side by side through the forest, leaves and twigs resounding a crunch beneath each footfall. 

"I don't understand why you're complaining." Kanda, who, for whatever reason, vehemently protested against anyone using his first name, retorted, his dark brows furrowed in frustration as he glanced over at the smaller boy.

"I thought I made it clear to you that I despise humans. Like hell I wanted to be bought like a damn trinket in a marketplace." The white-haired teen practically snarled.

Kanda rolled his eyes, "At least you're not getting raped by some creepy old bastards. I could've just left you there."

"Then, why didn't you? Huh? What's so important about me?"

Kanda stopped dead in his tracks, his arm suddenly outstretched to grasp Allen's in a vice grip, "Don't act like you didn't want someone to save you from that hell. I could see it in your face that day, so I told two fae people in my village about you, and I made a promise to bring you back safely to them. So, for my generosity, I suggest you shut the hell up since I paid well over the amount I expected."

The white-haired teen was silenced for a minute, but soon recovered as he hissed, "I didn't ask to be saved by some human."

"Then, I guess it's good that I'm only half." Kanda growled, releasing Allen's arm from his grip, "I'll have you know, my birth father was a demon. My human appearance comes from whoever the hell my birth mother was."

...

Kanda dropped a large pile of sticks near the rocky bank of a stream before retrieving a pair of rocks and sitting himself down on the ground in front of the bundle of wood, scraping the two rocks together to create a spark. Allen had been staring at him for the past three hours since their argument and the older teen had been purposely avoiding his gaze to escape anymore conversation related to his bloodline. 

Sighing, Allen spoke up, "I'm sorry... for being the way I was... I had no idea you--"

"Don't mention it." Kanda interrupted quietly, setting the rocks down, "It's not a big deal, really."

The faerie gazed at him with empathy, "You, out of all people, probably understand what it's like to be different. Half-breeds have always been looked down upon, even more so than us fae. I'm so sorry for my assumption, Ka-- I mean, uh, Master."

The half-demon craned his head to look at the faerie for the first time in three hours, his eyes softening slightly as he mumbled, "Tch. You don't need to call me Master. You're free to do whatever." 

Then, he stood suddenly, walking towards the river while tying his raven locks back into a tight ponytail, "I'm going to cool off before I start the fire. Feel free to join." 

He began to undress, removing his silky high-class articles of clothing to reveal his nude slender form complete with toned muscles and a lovely olive skin tone, a strange black marking outstretched on his strong chest. Allen couldn't help but watch as the older man stepped into the water, his face flushed in embarrassment as his eyes lingered a bit too long on the naked body of his handsome owner. 

Hesitantly, the younger teen removed the old blue yukata from his shoulders, blushing slightly as Kanda glanced over at him, which made the half demon smirk as he watched the fae slowly inch into the lukewarm waters.

Silence fell between the two as they floated together in the gentle current, the only sounds being a frequent splash every few minutes or so as one would move about in the stream. 

Allen closed his eyes and let out a relaxed sigh as he brought his wet hands up to touch his warm cheeks, the cool feel of the water against his skin being a luxury he did not often experience. His slightly pointed ears perked up at the gentle sound of a voice, listening quietly as it sang:

A courtesan's journey

It's only a dream, even so it's a dream  
Poisonous days scattering autumn leaves

Hell was first

A luxurious payment beckons the silhouette   
Self-satisfying eyes smile the desire of temptation  
Turning around, suppressing dizziness  
The scattering--scattered ending dream

False cosmetics, bewitching conversations  
Cover-up, reporting to the emperor with a whirling dance

Lather drool onto a dog's mouth  
Lightly with the index finger  
The murmur from smoking a pipe of honey   
Strings up the string of words from the red-light district

Licentious coquetry for a trifling love   
The pomegranate's flesh is ripe with grief  
And a full bloom of it  
Licking for a one-night-only pledge  
Greedily thrusting intimacy ripened with wile   
"Feeling" is discarded, "accounting" to deceive  
Proud of being haunted by wicked men's jostling shadows   
Precisely rising and sinking is evaluated  
Swaying, the swaying from a flicker   
Is moved by love

The voice abruptly halted its song and suddenly, Allen found a pair of arms wrapping around his slender form, which caused him to flinch slightly from the unfamiliar affectionate contact. 

"K-Kanda..?" The faerie murmured, his voice seemingly smaller than usual as he turned around to face the older boy. 

"I can see why you were so valuable. You're quite the pretty one to look at..." Kanda whispered, lifting Allen's chin gently and gazing into the silver orbs staring back up at him with a hint of fear glimmering in their irises.

The white-haired teen's heart seemed to hammer in his chest as he felt their naked bodies pressed against one another. Terror flooded his thoughts as the older teen leaned in slightly, their lips barely an inch apart, his hot breath tingling against his lips.

Suddenly, he pulled away, "I would love to show you something real, but I'd never force myself on you."

And with that, Kanda went back to the riverbank to start a fire.

...

Once they arrived to Mori No Mura, various people of all different races rushed to greet their new fae neighbor. There were demons, high elves, sprites, some humans, and even a few fae.

Music floated through the streets as musicians strummed their lutes and whistled their flutes. Couples, many of them being interracial, danced close together like passionate lovers, a redheaded high elf and a Chinese human girl seeming particularly dazzling as they danced magnificently beneath the golden sun. The fragrant scent of baked pastries filled the air as bakers set up their display shelves for the day. Banners of gold and silver were strung along buildings, beautiful calligraphy scrawled across each in what looked like some sort of elvish language that Allen didn't recognize. 

As they walked through the local marketplace, many of the villagers generously presented the ex-courtesan with welcoming gifts, some being money, some being clothing, some being food. It was almost as if they were celebrating his very arrival.

Allen's eyes lit up with wonder as he saw the silver sparkles of wings zipping through the air, the small number of fae rushing to and fro to deliver the villagers' mail. Quickly, the light in his eyes vanished as he looked back at where his own wings were supposed to be, remembering they were severed from his body, never to be flown with again. 

Kanda wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulder, sensing his internal elegy, "I know people who know how to use magic that can regenerate wings. We'll get them back soon enough."

Allen looked up at the older teen, stunned, small tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

"Huh?! What did I say?! ...Damn it, don't cry!" Kanda protested as the tears streamed down the faerie's cheeks.

Suddenly, the smaller boy lunged upwards, pressing his lips against Kanda's, whose eyes widened in surprise. Recovering from the initial shock, Kanda's arms snaked around the younger's slender waist as his lips moved in perfect sync with Allen's.

Two distinct cheers broke out from their left as a certain redheaded high elf and Chinese human girl applauded the display.

"Go, Yu! You're actually scoring!" Lavi cheered as Lenalee screamed, "Get it, Kanda!"

The duo pulled away from each other, faces flushed.

"Kanda..?"

"Yeah..?"

"Thank you for showing me..."

"Huh?"

"What real love is."


	16. Shatter Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be slightly different... Because it's mainly going to be focused on Lavi x Lenalee because for some odd reason, I've become pretty fond of that shipping... Heh... Might even write a book about 'em. I have a pretty sweet idea. (I forgot the idea. ;-;)
> 
> Inspired by: Shatter Me - Lindsey Stirling ft. Lzzy Hale

Dear Lavi,

I know you're probably busy with your studies and all since you have final exams soon, but I slipped this letter under your door in order to formally invite you to my final exam. 

As I'm sure you know, Allen and I pursued music as our major and this Saturday night is our final exam for the year. Each member of our class must perform a single piece of choice before our professor, who will grade us based on our performance skills.

Allen and I chose to be a duet. Together, we put our talents to use in one of our favorite pieces, Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling and Lzzy Hale. Allen will be standing in for Stirling on the violin and I for Hale as the vocalist.

I would like it very much if you came. I'm sure Allen would too. I invited Kanda as well (on Allen's behalf), so if you decide to come see us perform, feel free to drag Kanda along. 

Sorry for any inconvenience. 

Love,  
Lenalee

...

I'm not very sure what it was about her letter that managed to persuade me. Normally, I'd just call her and cancel, reminding her of my studies and how clogged up my schedule was. Yet, this time, somehow, I sensed a sort of urgency in her writing, almost as if she wrote it out of desperation.

I ended up tagging along with Kanda and Komui to the auditorium where the performances were to be held. Komui and I teamed up together to torment poor Kanda relentlessly, teasing him about his blossoming relationship with his little bean sprout, or rather Allen.

Upon our arrival, I could hear the loud wail of a guitar from the inside of the vibrating walls of the old theater as we each shoved our money into the ticket booth, where a grouchy plump man grumbled as he handed us three orange tickets in return.

As we weaved through the slowly forming crowd of people, we heard cheers erupt from the inside of the hall, where a musician had concluded his performance, most likely removing whatever props he had brought out onto the stage. The shrieks of the gathered crowd invaded my eardrums, my hands clamping over my ears in a pathetic attempt to prevent hearing damage as I followed my friends through the rows of people, Kanda in front of me and Komui in front of him. 

As we reached our designation, we each sat down just as the music professor began to announce the next performers onto the stage, "Next, we have Miss Lenalee Lee and her partner, Mister Allen Walker, performing their version of Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling and Lzzy Hale!"

The waves of people gave an encouraging round of applause as the professor bowed his head and hopped off the stage, the spotlights dimming into darkness as two silhouettes quietly creeped into position on the stage, one of which who was wielding an instrument propped beneath his chin. I waited rather impatiently, the suspense killing me as I remembered my exam the following Monday and my limited time to study.

Suddenly, the lights focused on the slender frame of a girl at center stage, her body poised gracefully like a ballerina as she stared out into the crowd with an empty look, her amethyst eyes seeming dull and resigned. Her petite body was traced delicately by a black leotard with a tutu clinging around her waist, her long legs darker in tone due to a pair of pantyhose. Long locks of dark hair fell behind her shoulders like gentle waves of silk, her figure surrounded by a shroud of dazzling light.

All was quiet, all eyes focused on the beautiful form of Lenalee. The only sound was the unfamiliar thundering behind my chest. Suddenly, she was the only thing lingering in my thoughts.

What is this?

Allen emerged from the darkness, wearing a tailcoat and a silver mask one might see at a masquerade ball. Lightly, he pressed the bow of his violin to the strings, creating a beautiful melody, a sorrowful melody and Lenalee lurched forwards, as if her movements were strained, as if everything put her in pain. 

Softly, she began to sing into the barely noticeable microphone taped to her cheek.

I pirouette in the dark

She slowly spun into a pirouette formation as if representing the lyrics with her body.

I see the stars through a mirror  
Tired mechanical heart  
Beats 'til the song disappears

I saw the passion in her strangely colored eyes as she sang, her gaze seemingly fixed on me as I became mesmerized by her voice as a sailor to the mythical siren.

Somebody shine a light

The lights grew brighter as she outstretched a desperate hand towards it, Allen's music becoming more intense as he stood to the side, casting a spell on the doll that was Lenalee as she despaired.

I'm frozen by the fear in me  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me

I had never seen this part of her before. This piece of her so imbedded in the lyrics of the songs she sung. Did anyone else notice? 

I had always turned a blind eye to her songs, thinking of them as nothing more than her hobby. But, I was wrong. They're more. They're her. 

So cut me from the line   
Dizzy, spinning endlessly  
Somebody make me feel alive   
And shatter me

She collapsed onto the ground, tugging at her hair wildly as if in pain. Her eyes glimmered with a painful hope as she looked up at her puppet master, the man strumming the instrument that tormented her.

What an interesting interpretation... They did well together.

Somehow, that thought sent a spark of jealousy up my spine, though it was quickly discarded as I reminded myself that Allen had a thing going on with Kanda.

Wait... Why was I jealous?

Shatter me!  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me

I understood why I was compelled to be here. And the thought of it made me cringe as I saw Komui's intense stare at his younger sister, his glare fixed on Allen, who was required to get somewhat close to the girl for the performance. 

The rest of the performance went on with Lenalee's lovely voice urging everyone to tears as she sung out her sorrows, her body portraying her as a soul trapped in a doll-like state. 

As the violin seemed to drop its steady tune, Lenalee lay sprawled out on the floor, her body contorting with jerking movements as if she ran mechanically.

If only the clockwork could speak   
I wouldn't be so alone  
We'd burn every magnet and spring  
And spiral into the unknown 

Her empty stare turned to greet my single emerald eye, my cheeks heating up as I gazed back at the pair of amethysts. 

Soon, the performance came to a close with Lenalee crumpled to her knees on the floor as she sang the last notes, Allen behind her with the bow of his violin pressed to her neck as if it were a knife.

Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me!

The room was once again flooded in darkness, the crowd erupting into a passionate round of applause for the duo, a few approving whistles here and there as even the professor himself could not seem to tear his eyes away from where the performers once stood.

My uncovered eye was transfixed on the slender silhouette of Lenalee, a blush rising to greet my cheeks as I turned to make sure Komui was good and distracted before pulling out my phone and shooting her a quick text.

To Lenalee:  
Uh.....dinner at my place on Sunday?

From Lenalee:  
You got yourself a deal Roger Rabbit ;P

I couldn't suppress my smile as I read over her reply thrice, a slight essence of mischief in my happiness as I responded.

To Lenalee:  
So does this mean you want me to shatter you? *wink wink* ;)

From Lenalee:  
Does this mean you want me to tell Komui that you want to "shatter me?" *wink wink* ;)

To Lenalee:  
...damn you're good.

From Lenalee:  
Lavi........

To Lenalee:  
Yeah?

From Lenalee:  
...Komui is looking over your shoulder.

Shit.

"LAVI?!?!"


	17. F'in Perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: F'in Perfect - Pink

I can't stand a lot of things, that I have made agonizingly clear to those around me, but if there is one thing I absolutely can not stand, it's the way I can see the damn kid stare at himself in the mirror. 

The way he'll cover up the scar on his eye with tattoo concealer. The way he always makes sure to wear either long gloves or long sleeves to cover up his blackened arm. The way his silver eyes will stare at his reflection with a mixture of sorrow and disgust.

It all began with those stupid jocks at school, when they stole his gloves and humiliated him in front of the entire school, when they shaved off his stark white hair to see if it would grow back that color, when they constantly taunted him...

And what's worse? He fucking let them.

He refused to ever call for Lavi and I's help. He refused to cry in front of them.

Yet? He treated himself worse than any of them.

Allen Walker was commonly referred to as a martyr for his hero complex, yet I never believed it was out of selflessness. It was a death wish, a selfish hope of "accidental" suicide every time he threw himself in front of oncoming traffic to save an animal or got in a fight with a mugger who was trying to steal a woman's purse. And though people praised him for his bravery, the sad truth was... he wasn't.

And these thoughts were the reason I found myself here.

"An intervention?" Lavi asked incredulously, "What does Allen need an intervention for?"

Lenalee bonked the loud mouthed redhead on the head for the fifth time today with a history book, "How many times do I have to tell you to quiet down? Geez, Lavi, we're in a library for fuck's sake."

I gave a groan of exasperation, already extremely irritated with bringing up the topic to the two again, "I told you, it's not an intervention. It's just hanging out like we normally do, only we're trying to get the little asshole to realize he can talk to us!"

"And we do that by referring to him as 'a little asshole' behind his back?" Lenalee quirked an eyebrow, staring at her textbook, taking notes for her history report.

Lavi snickered, "Well, hey, if anyone knows, it's Kanda." 

Lenalee snorted as I felt color rise to my cheeks, my glare now focused on my redheaded friend.

"If you guys don't wanna help, never-fucking-mind." I growled, getting ready to stand up to leave before a certain Chinese girl threw her pen at me.

"Don't be such a drama queen, Kandy-pants. We'll see you losers at six."

"Yeah, now run on home to your wife and heat him up to make his cold shoulder go away." Lavi murmured with a roll of his eyes, picking up where he left off on his comic book.

"Assholes..." I grumbled on my way out, a whisper-yelled "we love you" and a hissed "shhhhh" following suit.

Tch, losers.

*******************

Upon arriving home, I walked into the kitchen to find my albino roommate sprawled out on the floor surrounded by bowls of various colored acrylic paints and an assortment of paintbrushes of all shapes and sizes. A giant chunk of what used to be white cardboard lay on the floor surrounded by sawed off pieces of formerly attached cardboard, its shape now similar to a rounded off rhombus. Shades of deep purples and blues surrounded the edges of the makeshift canvas and slowly inched closer to the center, becoming brighter and more vivid as they reached their destination. Small trails of escaped paint stained the floor's tiles, joining the other random splashes of color decorating the kitchen floor.

This is what I get for dating an artist. 

Already accustomed to the normally art-related messes, I quickly disregarded it and stepped pass the barrier of paint bowls to retrieve a water bottle from the fridge.

"You're home early." Allen commented, dipping his paintbrush into a nearby bowl containing a lavender color, "Class got canceled?"

"Yep." I answered, popping the "p" and taking a sip of my water, "What are you painting?"

"Ah, just something pretty to give one of my classmates for her birthday. It's in two weeks, so just figured, why not? Only thing I'm good for anyway." He sighed, sitting back a few inches to admire his work. I cringed at the melancholy in his tone; I hated it when he talked about himself.

"Lenalee and Lavi are stopping by around six. That okay?" I changed the subject.

He craned his neck to get a good look at me, a questioning eyebrow raised, "You invited them? What's the occasion?"

"Can't a guy invite his friends over without his boyfriend getting suspicious?"

"Sure. But not when that guy is Yu Kanda and refers to Lavi as his friend."

"Tch..."

Allen stared at me expectantly, arms crossed in defiance as he shot me his "what the hell are you plotting" look.

I rolled my eyes before suddenly finding my feet interesting, "Just tired of seeing you so down in the dumps is all..."

I glanced up at him, watching as he blinked twice, his brows furrowing together as he absorbed my words. He stood up and walked over to me, smirking slightly with an unknown victory.

"Kanda? Worried about me? How flattering!" He teased, snaking his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my chest, "For what, do I deserve the pleasure?"

"It's kinda hard not to fucking worry when you insult yourself all the time and put yourself in danger twenty-four-fucking-seven." I snapped, my mouth automatically snapping shut as I realized what I just said.

Allen stared at me, unblinking, unsure of what to say before planting a kiss on my cheek, "I think I like pissing you off so much because it's pretty damn cute." He chuckled, "Thank you, BaKanda. For caring."

"You're perfect and that in itself pisses me off."

"Me? Perfect? You only say that because I'm cute and a pain in your ass."

"No, but you're definitely gonna have pain in your ass."

"Ew! Pervert!"

"I was talking about kicking your ass, but if you took that the wrong way, then I guess that shows who's really the pervert."

"You guys realize it's six o'clock, right?" We heard two voices shout from the doorway, our faces heating up with embarrassment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh... I made a funny... Oops.
> 
> Written for avengerfan54 on Wattpad


	18. Popular

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys can't tell already, I tend to write A LOT of AU's because they are honestly my favorite types of fanfics. I feel like they have a more creative element than most and it's just super fun to see what people can come up with! 
> 
> So, I apologize to those who want the setting to remain in the actual D. Gray-Man setting, it's just not really my style? But, I make exceptions for angst because the series is PERFECT for that. So, if you guys want that, let me know!
> 
> Anyway, without further ado? Let us begin!

"Allen! Talk! NOW!" Lenalee demanded, slamming her palms against the wooden picnic table as she stood, attracting the attention of passersby in the school courtyard.

"Keep your voice down!" Allen hissed, glancing left and right at the various cliques that now cast curious glances their way. He spoke up once again as a few of the gossiping swarms returned to their previous conversations of he-said-she-said, "If anyone hears about it, do you know how many girls will bombard me with a bunch of petty bull?"

"Um, FYI, this 'petty bull' is the fact that Yu fucking Kanda asked YOU out!" She rushed out in a harsh whisper, taking a seat on the bench across from her albino friend, "Since when were you two friends?! He's the same kid who's been bullying you since, like, you were six! If it weren't for the fact that you're valedictorian of our class, I'd think you got your head dunked in the toilet one time too many and lost all the smarticles in your brain!"

Allen snorted, rolling his eyes at her overdramatic behavior, "All of you girls act as if he's some god rather than an arrogant prick of a jock. It's astounding, really. Listen, it was probably just a prank, so just drop it already." He adjusted the black-rimmed reading glasses sitting atop the bridge of his nose before returning his attention back towards the algebra homework that lay sprawled out across the table, his eyebrows furrowing with frustration.

Lenalee's determined expression drifted into a sympathetic frown as she gazed at her best friend of ten years, sensing the wave of tension that hit him like a tsunami. Her amethyst eyes drifted to his prosthetic arm, the original lost in a freak car accident along with his father. Lifting her gaze to the pentagram shaped scar marring the milky skin around his silver eyes, she remembered the horrifying sight of the bloodied face with the star-shaped metal keychain shoved into his eye from where his head slammed into the glove compartment.

Anger steadily filled the Chinese girl to the brim as she pondered Allen's words. Was this really just a prank? After the accident, nobody gave Allen a drop of sympathy after all. To them, he was just a freak, something to be stared at, and because of that, he no longer bothered making new friends, choosing instead to busy himself with his studies, his only friend of choice being Lenalee Lee, seeing as she was the only one who stood by him.

"Allen." His head snapped up at the mention of his name.

"Yeah?" He blinked twice, an eyebrow raised.

"I'll stop by your dorm later. I have some things I have to do. I'm sorry for disturbing you." Lenalee apologized, standing up as she retrieved her bag from the bench.

He looked up at her, the slightest hint of a frown on his face, "It's cool. Um, see you later, I guess? I'll let Johnny know you're stopping by."

"See ya!" She waved, walking towards the west wing, where the gym was.

******************

"Where is he?" Lenalee towered over an upperclassman with a mop of wild red hair as he sat propped up against the gymnasium wall, a book with a green spine in hand.

"I'm not sure who you're referring to, doll face." Lavi answered, waving her off with disinterest, "You can't be in here anyway, kendo team is practicing." 

"Yu Kanda. Where is he?" She repeated firmly, her voice matching her stance as she gave him her best "I'm not leaving until I get what I want" stare.

He took a double take of her, his eyes suddenly widening as he realized who he was speaking to, "Lenalee? As in captain of the music club? Wow, you're even cuter up close in person. Loved your Vocaloid mash-up. You make a great Miku."

She blinked in surprise, taken slightly aback, "You've been at my shows, Lavi-senpai?"

"What can I say? Love the arts." He shrugged, "Allen's pretty good too, I was impressed with his performance of Tainted Love. I was surprised by his voice since he doesn't talk much. I always try to speak with him, but he always manages to evade me..." He paused for a moment, "...That why you're here for Kanda?"

Lenalee nodded in confirmation, "I'm worried for Allen. I don't trust Kanda. I'm afraid he might be playing a prank on him. Allen's already been through enough hurt; he doesn't need to be led on by Mr. Popular like he was with that Mikk kid last year."

Lavi nodded as he absorbed her words before speaking again, a frown apparent on his naturally cheery features, "As Kanda's best friend, I can tell you that Kanda hasn't dated in over three years since Alma passed away. Also, despite what most people think of him, Kanda isn't that cruel. He wouldn't prank somebody like that. He's always sincere. He's just not good at being nice is all." He chuckled, "Plus? That performance of Tainted Love? Kanda was there too. He became infatuated with him not long after, that's part of the reason I kept trying to talk to him."

Lenalee stared at him with disbelief, jaw slack, "Kanda? At our shows?"

"Yup. I'd let you go talk to him for your little interrogation or whatever, but I was serious about not being allowed to go in there. I'll let him know you dropped by though." Lavi smiled politely, revealing two lovely rows of pearly whites.

A darkening red blush invaded Lenalee's cheeks as she looked at him, "Um... Thank you..."

"Anytime."

As she pivoted on her heels to head towards the dormitories, a certain redhead's voice stopped her in her tracks just before she reached the double doors.

"Oh? And Lenalee?"

She craned her neck towards where he sat, "Stop by again sometime. I could use the company."

He winked at her.

********************

"Oh? You're here earlier than I thought. Johnny went out with some girl from his engineering class, so we have the Play Station to ourselves." Allen smiled, moving to the side to let Lenalee through the door.

"Aw, I was gonna ask him if he got his project finished. He promised to show me when it was done." She replied as she walked inside, Allen closing the door behind her.

"He did, it's taking up most of the closet now." He rolled his eyes, "He told me not to show you though because he knew you would ask."

"Rude."

"I know, right?"

Lenalee plopped down on a nearby beanbag with a sigh, Allen following suit as he fell into the one beside her.

"Where have you been all day?" He lightly shoved her shoulder, a wide grin stretched across his lips, "A little bird told me you were with a certain redheaded boy you've had a crush on for like, what, a year?"

She covered her face with her hands to hide the blush conquering her cheeks, letting out a loud groan, "Shut up!"

"If I'd have known that was your errand, I would've spied on you two to make sure there was no bad touch." He teased.

"Allen, I will not hesitate to beat you with this beanbag."

A loud guffaw escaped his throat as he saw her deadly expression, "So violent! Was there bad touch?!"

"NO!"

"I'm telling Komui!"

"Don't you dare!" 

"I can already see the fire in his eyes!"

She chucked a nearby pillow at his head, which he returned with double the force. Soon, they found themselves engaged in a full blown pillow fight, screaming sarcastic slurs at each other, the room filled with laughter as each blow was delivered until a knock sounded at the door.

They froze in place.

Allen groaned as he threw his pillow to the floor, shuffling towards the door, "Johnny, did you forget your key again?"

As he opened the door, his jaw practically dropped to the floor as he realized who stood on the other side.

"K-Kanda?"

"Um, hey?" Kanda's deep voice rumbled, a hand reaching up to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly.

"What do you want?" Allen's voice was cold, dropping an octave deeper than usual as he took on his defensive persona.

"I wanted to talk about what happened." He replied, his gaze drifting towards Lenalee's, who stood from afar, her eyes now trained nervously on her feet.

"There's nothing to talk about." Allen spat, moving to shut the door, Kanda grabbing his arm before he could.

"Please." Cobalt bore into silver as Kanda stared at him, awaiting an answer, the air thick with tension.

Allen glanced at Lenalee before hissing through gritted teeth, "In the hallway."

The two boys rushed into the hall, Allen slamming the door behind him, leaving Lenalee by her lonesome in the dorm room. Curiosity getting the best of her, she quietly stalked her away across the room and to the doorway, pressing her ear gently to the cool surface of the door, listening intently to the conversation that ensued on the other side.

"I told you, I mean it. Why can't you just get that through your thick skull?" She heard Kanda hiss.

"Because you're popular and I'm a fucking freak? Because you were one of many who put me through hell growing up? Because you're fucking Kanda? What the hell else do I need to say?" Allen growled in response.

"And I told you I was sorry for all of it! If I didn't like you, you wouldn't so much as get that word out of my mouth!"

"You could be pranking to get a laugh with your stupid ass friends like the last guy! Hahaha, very funny! Now, get the hell away from me."

The sound of shuffling footsteps and a groan as someone's back hit the wall resounded through the door. Lenalee's hand shot towards the doorknob, ready to jump out if necessary to defend her friend. Cracking the door slightly, she peeked through the small opening and spotted the pair, Allen pressed against the wall, wrists pinned to his sides. Kanda's lips were pressed against Allen's in a fierce kiss, their lips moving in sync. 

A bright blush invaded Lenalee's cheeks as she watched the pair. Inching back into the dorm room, she raced back towards her previous position, her inner fan girl squealing with delight over the scene she just witnessed.

Meanwhile, outside, Allen looked up at Kanda in stunned silence, incoherent gibberish escaping his lips as he shoved the older boy away.

"W-why did y-you..?" He touched his lips gently with his fingertips, face flushed.

Kanda shrugged before replying simply, "I like you."

"Th-that was my first kiss, you jerk!"

"Mine too."

"Huh?!?"

"I wanted my first kiss with someone I liked. You wouldn't believe me, so I gave it to you."

Allen struggled to find his words, completely taken aback, "But you're the popular guy everyone wants! You're not supposed to like the school freak!" He pointed an accusing finger.

"I guess it's a good thing you're not a freak then."

Allen blushed, "I-- you-- gahhh! I don't get you!"

"So, do you wanna go out with me or not?"

"...Uh... I... Um... Okay?"

"Oh... Um, so that's a yes?"

"I guess?"

"GOD, YOU GUYS ARE SO AWKWARD!" Lenalee shouted from inside the dorm room.

"SHUT UP!" Allen shouted back, moving a strand of white hair behind his ear, "So, um..."

"I'll pick you up at eight tomorrow." Kanda cut him off, "I have to get back to my dorm before Lavi decides to play with my stuff."

"Cool. Uh, see you tomorrow then... On our date... Yeah...."

And with a smirk on his face, Kanda walked down the hallway in search of his own dorm.

"Now, you're really gonna get murdered by Kanda's fan club, ya know." Lenalee stated, now leaning against the doorframe.

"Eh, fuck it."


	19. Haunted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to MerakuKami on Wattpad
> 
> Inspired by: Haunted - Kelly Clarkson

KANDA

I felt sick to my stomach, every foul emotion in my being churning like a never ending torrent.

I stood at the entrance of an art studio--his art studio--and observed the messy paint stains splattered about the slightly off-white walls as well as the massive array of various art textbooks and paintings strewn about the shelves and desks that occupied the space. The contrast of colors in each painting seemed to give off an ethereal glow as the moonlight filtered through a nearby window.

Without a word, I found myself drifting into the abandoned artsy haven, my calloused fingertips wandering across the cold surface of a table as they brushed against the smooth texture of a polaroid photo, the image provoking an ache in my chest as if a javelin pierced its way through my heart. Lifting the photo between my thumb and index finger, my dark eyes studied it intently, struggling to make it out in detail beneath the dim light of the crescent moon.

There was a girl, petite and slender, with amethyst eyes that sparkled like gems, lovely and full of wonder. Long, dark hair cascaded down her shoulders like waves of fine silk, contrasting with her pale, unmarred skin. In her arms rested a child, its tiny hand gently tugging at the hat placed atop its head, disheveled raven hair peeking out from beneath the garment, distracted silver eyes focused on the task at hand.

"What are you doing in here?" A quiet voice spoke up from the darkness, startling me.

Pivoting on my heels, I spun around to face Allen, who stood leaned against the arch of the entryway, propped up against a single crutch, bandages wrapped about a single foot and arm as well as his abdomen and forehead, only dressed in a pair of black gym shorts. His stormy grey eyes bore holes into me as he stared through half-lidded eyes, strands of wet platinum blond hair stuck to his face, framing his porcelain skin and bringing attention to the fresh, jagged, pentacle-shaped scar marring the flesh surrounding his right eye.

He set his crutch aside before hobbling towards me on his single good foot, nearly stumbling over one of the many textbooks scattered about the floor before I caught him in my arms, the polaroid photo fluttering away from my grasp. A pained groan escaped his lips as I accidentally brushed against the wounds on his arm, which were reluctant to heal as willingly as the others. Retracting my hand as if he had burned me, I gently but firmly gripped his shoulders to help balance his uneven footing, careful to avoid the upper half of his wounded arm. His eyes were directed towards the floor, avoiding my gaze, shame written across his features due to his current state of weakness.

The polaroid photo, forgotten on the ground, caught Allen's attention, his eyes darkening ever so slightly as the image settled in his mind. He looked up at me with raised eyebrows, the storm in his irises searching the ocean in mine expectantly. Contemplating my words, I opened my mouth before hesitantly snapping it shut once more, noticing the change in my room mate's composure, his breathing more ragged and the stormy grey hue of his eyes seeming to forever eliminate its former tranquil silver.

"It's been an entire month..." I whispered, biting my lip tentatively, watching the way his lip trembled ever so slightly at my simple observation. My heart heaved with sympathy, making me want nothing more than to envelope him in my arms and somehow end his suffering.

He clenched his teeth, his eyes glossy with unshed tears as he spoke in a low voice, "And yet it still feels like it just happened." His voice was shaky and his tone bitter as he carried on, "I lost it all."

I felt my heart pounding in my chest, shattering slowly as the tears began to form in those usually cheery eyes, the eyes that used to hold such positivity and warmth. The eyes that now held tears and despair. Defeat. Why wasn't I there to save them? To save him this pain?

I briefly remember the phone call from the day of the accident, the one that changed our lives forever.

 

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Mr. Yu Kanda?"

 

"Yes? Who is this?"

 

"I am a nurse from the intensive care unit at Saint Joan's Hospital and University on 5th street. Your name was listed in the emergency contacts in one of our patient's files. I have called to inform you that your spouse, Mr. Allen Walker, was a victim in a head on car collision today and has a severe case of internal bleeding and blood loss, and has sustained head trauma with the possibility of brain damage, scarring of the facial tissue, severe third degree burns, three broken ribs, and a fractured ankle. He is now being prepped for surgery. If you would please come to the hospital, we have a detective here who would like to ask you a few questions related to the accident."

 

"...You can't be serious. Allen was with Lenalee, Len, and Mana. They surely would have told me if--"

"Sir, I regret to inform you that Mr. Walker was, unfortunately, the only survivor in the accident. There were three casualties in total."

"...No... That can't be..."

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the choked sobs of my other half, his tears now flowing like waterfalls down his cheeks. He looked so... broken. Merely watching him felt as if my heart was shredded into pieces by a pair of razor blades slowly gashing their way through the strings.

"I lost everything... My father, my son, even the mother of my child... Mana and Lenalee... Len... Oh my God, Len... I saw him just before I fainted. He was still alive. One of his eyes... gashed out by the glass... his little hands were covered in blood and I couldn't do a damn thing! My kid was suffering right in front of me and I couldn't do anything! All because of that damn car that rammed into us! I'll never forgive them for it! Look at me!" He gestured at the scar on his face, removing some of the bandages shielding his arm from sight, revealing the charred flesh, "The doctor said I may very well never paint again... I lost the most important people in my life and now I don't even have a way to cope with it..."

I was stunned into total silence, unsure of what I could possibly say or do at this point. He was in so much pain, the boy who used to smile all the time could no longer bring himself to even twitch his lips upward slightly. This pain completely haunted him.

"All I can think about now is the blood... How I couldn't save them... And yet, at the same time, I'm so glad... you weren't there... You're all I have left... and if you hadn't gotten sick that day, you could have very well--" His voice cracked, the storm clouds in his eyes scanning over me as if reassuring themselves I was real. Before he could even bring himself to continue, I gently wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him close to me.

"Allen..." I whispered his name, my voice wavering slightly with an unfamiliar weakness I had not grown accustom to despite these past weeks, "I'm glad too... that you crawled out of there alive... and it's okay to be sad. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can ever be happy again, but I miss them too. Len... even if we weren't related by blood... He was my son too and sometimes I'll stay up and wonder if the pain he suffered was worth the peace of a supposed afterlife... He was so young, only three... and he was a lot like you, so naïve and cheerful. I--I can't believe he's gone before his life even began... I can't have kids--you know that--and that's why it was so important to me that he knew I was here too... And Lenalee--oh God, Lenalee--she was one of our best friends... someone we spent our entire lives with... and now--" Allen slung his free arm around my neck, lowering my head until our lips melded together in a kiss mixed with salty tears.

When he pulled back, I realized I had begun crying somewhere in the midst of my eulogy, something completely out of character for me.

"From this day forward, let's not take each other for granted... Okay?" He whispered, capturing my lips with his once more.

The polaroid photo lay abandoned on the floor, the image of the girl and child slowly fading into blackness as two pairs of eyes stared at the looming figures above them, warm smiles plastered on their faces before disappearing completely. Somewhere in the wind, a man's voice was heard as he whispered his encouraging catch phrase.

"Just keep walking."


	20. Pompeii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Pompeii - Bastille

I had been here before. A long time ago, in a world nobody knew of except those of us whose souls still roamed the earth, hidden ashes from eras past buried beneath the dirt, my feet unable to feel the familiar grounds.

I did not have a clear memory of this place, but perhaps, it was better this way. Remembering its existence might destroy me. The knowledge that it existed at all was enough to haunt me as it was.

Ruins rose from ancient dust, pillars and columns leaning every which way, the rest of their bodies dismembered, eroding and withering away. I saw familiar faces with invisible eyes, their names little jumbled syllables that refused to be pieced together in the back of my mind. They saw me too, their blank expressions turned to face me in greeting as if they knew me their entire lives, as if my deformity was completely natural.

I was withering just as they were. Both mentally and physically.

Voices filled my ears, their words incomprehensible as they spoke in dead languages I'd never heard of. Yet, their words felt like daggers in my heart. 

As they slowly realized I could not understand them, they all slowly filed away, disintegrating in thin air like ghosts because that was precisely what they were, or what I assumed they were.

They knew me. My face. My eyes. They'd seen them in a world I hardly recognized, in a world that seemed peaceful before disaster struck.

We were flooded.

We were drowned.

I tried desperately to grab onto the ark, my freehand holding onto the hand of someone I held dear. The man aboard merely laughed at us, his loud bellow echoing in the typhoons surrounding us.

I let go of their hand.

Heads of dark hair fell beneath the surface, a girl's muffled scream stinging my ears.

I'm sorry.

Somebody was beside me.

I looked over and they were gone as well, another head of distinct copper becoming a murky brown as it dipped below the merciless water, a hand reaching out for me. 

I reached as far as I could before they were completely under, their fingertips washed away by the time our hands touched.

A name was screamed. A curse slipped past my lips.

And then I was going under with them. 

I saw my comrades, their hands reaching out towards me as I was washed away. 

I felt three pairs of arms encircle my body as we were washed away together as one.

As I felt myself slowly begin to wither away, my irises slowly transforming into a sickeningly gold color, I screamed their names. 

Kanda. Lenalee. Lavi.

I'm sorry I couldn't save you again.

Forgive me. 

I will wither.


	21. Stitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Stitches - Shawn Mendes

A week. It had been an entire week. No phone calls. No text messages. Nothing. 

I was beginning to worry that he was gone for good. 

My friends only made me feel worse. Especially Lenalee. She always sided with him. I could always tell she thought we were a bad couple from the start. After all, we were total opposites. She was just waiting for it to end, so she could prove she was right like always. 

Even now, as she sat across from me, I could see that know-it-all look in her eyes. 

I was a complete wreck. 

A week. It had been an entire week since Allen and I broke it off. 

We had gotten into a fight. A bad one. But for once, Allen got the last word. 

"Maybe we just shouldn't see each other, Yu! Would that make you happy!?"

He stormed out before I could stop him and I watched as he left, a piece of me gone with him. It felt like a fresh wound, one that would need stitches before it could ever heal. But, how could you expect that when the doctor that once looked after you every waking moment was suddenly gone from your life in the blink of an eye?

"Kanda." Lenalee spoke up, her eyes downcast on her cup of coffee, avoiding my gaze.

I stared at her, waiting for her to speak, bracing for the cold hard truth, yet it never came.

"All couples fight, you know." She told me, chancing a glance up at me before continuing, "I still don't think you two dating was a good idea to begin with, but right now, I can tell it will last for awhile, even if 'it's' not here right now." 

My eyes were glued to the table, my brows furrowed in confusion as I listened to her speak. She had never supported our relationship in the beginning. What she was saying right now made absolutely no sense to me, yet at the same time, I appreciated that she wasn't trying to rub our breakup in my face, and it was precisely that reason alone that kept me silent. I was much too exhausted to consider getting in an argument today, even after two cups of coffee. 

Besides, my mind was in other places. I couldn't stop thinking about Allen. I felt sick. I kept seeing the tears running down his face that night, yet for some reason, I can't even remember what we were fighting about. Either way, it didn't seem important. All I wanted was to hear Allen's voice again, even if it was just him screaming at me for being an asshole to a stranger, or something along those lines. 

I scratched at the choppy strands of hair on my head, not yet used to the feeling of short hair. I hacked the majority of my hair off with a razor as a way of relieving tension versus breaking another perfectly good television set like I did last time I got really angry. I was never good at holding in stress. Allen would know. It's part of the reason he wasn't here. 

The bags under my eyes felt heavier today. I hadn't slept well, or at all for that matter. I was practically living off of caffeine at this point, and I'm pretty sure my brain is basically mush. After all, I don't think I've ever been this upset over a fucking breakup before. Heartbreak was kind of new. I obviously wasn't very good at coping with it, and obviously, my friends knew that, considering Lenalee was still here indulging me, sipping away at her coffee with an unreadable expression. 

The bell above the diner's entrance rang, a familiar figure walking through the double doors, silver eyes automatically landing on mine upon entry, widened with surprise. At least I knew I wasn't the only one suffering through this. Allen looked like Hell on Earth. 

His platinum blond hair was a mess, as if he hadn't brushed it in weeks. His eyes were red and swollen, complete with bags beneath them. Tears stained his cheeks, yet another obvious sign that he had been crying much like I had. 

Yes, I cry. Wow. Shocker, right? Lavi thought the same damn thing. 

He turned to walk out the door, but I jumped out of my seat, and practically latched onto him, my arms wound tightly around his waist. Lenalee watched us both curiously, eyes flashing from shock to concern, but I dragged him outside. There was no need to make a bigger scene than I already had.

Wow? Rational too? Geez, who are you and what have you done to Kanda, right? 

Try falling in love, assholes. It fucks you up.

I dragged Allen outside by the arm. He dragged his feet a little, but otherwise, he made no move to stop me. Once we were out of sight behind the building, I backed him into a brick wall. I wasn't going to let him get out of this. We had to talk.

His eyes were frantic, his lip quivering as if he were about to cry again. I felt my heart sink in my chest. 

"Allen..." I whispered softly, his ears perking up at the unfamiliar use of his name. 

He seemed intrigued but remained silent.

"I..." I began but wasn't too sure what to say. Did I really have anything to say to him? What was I supposed to say? 

"Kanda." He interrupted before I could even continue, "Don't." 

He looked at me with such an unfamiliar expression, I couldn't bare it. My heart was racing in my chest and all I wanted to do was implode on myself right now.

For the next few moments, we said nothing, just stared at each other with the most pained expressions we had ever seen on the other. Sure, we had seen each other break arms, legs, even ribs... but something about this was much worse than any physical wound. Physical wounds could heal. Emotional scars last. 

Without a word, he took a few steps towards me and planted a gentle kiss on my lips. I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him closer to me. I couldn't let him go. I just couldn't. 

I felt his hands rest on my chest, his head against my heart. I couldn't let go. 

He didn't move and I wouldn't let him. We just stood there, as if stitched together. 

Finally, he spoke up, "Kanda?"

The fear was pounding away at my brain. Was this goodbye? Was this where it ends?

"We--"

"Come home." I choked out before he could even finish.

"What?" He looked up at me, confusion written across his face, eyes welling up with a fresh batch of tears.

"Come home." I said again, my voice small and weak. 

All was silent except for the beating of my heart. We sat there, staring at each other. He seemed unsure, as if he thought this was all fake somehow. Underneath his scrutinizing gaze, I felt vulnerable. Weak. What if he refused?

"Okay." He finally said.

"Huh?" 

"I said... okay." 

He wasn't looking at me, but at the same time, it felt like he was. Allen had a habit of understanding me, even when I didn't speak up. It was almost as if he knew how my entire inner monologue worked, and sometimes it was terrifying to think that he did. But as of right now, I could only feel grateful for his weird psychic powers or whatever.

I hugged him tightly to my chest, kissing the top of his head over and over. I had him back and I couldn't let go. I just couldn't.


	22. The Sculptor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut

ALLEN

I knew he was watching me. 

He always did when he came to visit me in the studio.

It wasn't like it was something completely unusual. People came in the art studio all the time and observed me, intrigued by the fact I was a one-armed sculptor. After all, it wasn't something you'd exactly see every day, so of course, there were those who came and went, watching me with sympathetic eyes full of surprise and wonder. Later, they would go home and most likely tell their friends and family, and the next day, I'd see new faces, eager to watch me work. 

However, with Kanda, it was different. There was no interest in my lack of limbs or the way my single hand shaped the clay. Instead, he always stared at my face, more interested in my concentrated expression I suppose. Occasionally, his eyes would flicker downward towards the clay in my hand and then back up towards my eyes as if gauging the thought that went into each creation.

Yet, when I looked up at him, he'd turn away. He never liked being caught watching me. He would always have his homework sprawled out across his lap for this reason; he could play it off as if he's been busy studying the entire time. But in the end, we both knew that as soon as I turned my head back to focus on my work, those dark eyes would slowly travel back up to continue their observation. 

There would be no words spoken between us until Kanda could visually see the overall outline of what it was I was making. Then, he would pretend to look up from his studies for the first time, maybe stretch or shuffle the papers a bit to make it seem more realistic. He'd ask me what I was making and why I was making it. I'd tell him and he'd nod along with my words with a nonchalant expression as if he could care less. 

Kanda came from an immigrant family. They travelled here from Japan about two years ago to get a fresh start after a tragedy--his brother had died. According to his father, they were very close and for a while, I thought that was the reason he didn't speak much. In reality, at the time, Kanda didn't speak fluent English. He could comprehend it well but had trouble pronouncing different syllables and understanding larger words, such as "monotonous" or "diabolical." For this reason, I often attempted to explain my artwork to him a bit slower than I would with most people. Nonetheless, I could never truly tell when he did or didn't understand me unless he made an outward reaction. 

After I'd explain my work to him, he'd come to sit beside me, his observations no longer a secret. I didn't really understand his reasoning behind it, but I never made a move to question it. I'd come to enjoy his company over the years. It was no secret we were practically attached by the hip. 

"The man has one arm. Is it you?" He spoke up, surprising me slightly.

I looked to my left to meet a pair of dark eyes staring back at me. His ebony hair was tied back in a low ponytail, tossed over on one shoulder. He wore a plain white t-shirt with chalk stains, matching the ones on his olive skin. 

I gave him a smile despite his stoic expression, eager to hear him speak again. His voice was deep and smooth, pleasing. I always felt a rush of excitement run through me whenever I heard him speak, especially when it was directed towards me, which was often. Kanda didn't particularly care to talk to anyone except me for some reason I could never explain to others. 

I cleared my throat, ready to form my answer, "Yes, it is. I got the idea from a doll."

He raised an inquisitive eyebrow, staring at me with a gleam in his eyes I'd never seen before. He looked back down at his lap, a light blush reaching the tips of his ears and spreading to his cheeks. I smirked knowingly, well aware of where his thoughts were at the moment. 

Kanda was a doll maker. He wasn't girly by any means, but his dolls were always very lovely with intricately designed faces and bodies. Sometimes he'd create them with porcelain, other times he'd buy damaged dolls and repair and improve them. Most thought of him as a painter at first glance due to the stains on many of his clothes, but in reality, his clothes were mostly there to be used as rags, either to wipe chalk or paint off of his hands or to cut pieces off to sew into doll's clothes. Kanda's dolls were coping mechanisms. They were his way of creating immortality, and restoring the permanently damaged. In a way, I guess it was safe to say, Kanda's artwork was more or less his way of morning the loss of his brother as well as his homeland. 

Recently, Kanda had restored an old beat up doll he found in the garbage near an art supply shop. It originally had platinum blond hair, about shoulder length. Half of its face had been wiped off, but all limbs were still attached. Kanda had picked it up and carried it back with him to the art studio. He cut its hair short and removed the rest of its face. He repainted the face with thin pink lips and silver-blue eyes. It was very lovely, but he did something that most viewed as odd. He had torn off one of its arms. The doll was never sold, even when a few collectors spoke with him about a price. Kanda simply refused to sell it off.

"I really liked the doll, Kanda."

He only seemed to blush more from hearing this, making me break out into a toothy grin. Seeing Kanda blush was rare and therefore, it was something to be cherished. He avoided my gaze for awhile after this until he turned back towards me with a curious look, his eyes downcast to the clay in my hand, "Why did you make two figures?"

My grin grew wider as I listened to his voice. God, I loved it when he spoke. Today was a good day.

"Since I took the idea, I decided to make a tribute to the artist." 

He furrowed his eyebrows at the word "tribute," so I quickly jumped into a short explanation, recognizing his unsure expression almost instantly, "It's kind of like a thank-you, I guess you could say... You'll have to look for a better definition for it later."

He nodded, the slightest hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. I felt a warm feeling in my chest just glancing at him. It wasn't often when Kanda showed emotion and to think something as simple as this could make him happy, it made me ecstatic. If I got this reaction out of him each time, I'd make little clay Kanda figures all day for the rest of my life. 

I was caught off guard when Kanda came closer, planting a chaste kiss on my temple. I felt my face burn with the warm feeling from earlier. Butterflies fluttered through my stomach like a raging monsoon. I turned to look at him again, my bottom lip sucked between my teeth nervously. His eyes were downcast again, avoiding my gaze, blush ever present on his cheeks. 

Without a word, I held a nearby rag in place with my prosthetic arm, wiping my working hand clean. 

I never really understood Kanda and I's relationship. It wasn't exactly normal. It never was from the moment I met him. Yet, nevertheless, the day I had met him, he became the number one presence in my thoughts. He dominated even my artwork, always seeming to far surpass the beauty of anything I could create. 

I turned to look at him again, inwardly gushing as I caught him staring down at my two figures, biting his bottom lip. He was beautiful, which is why, as an artist, I could never resist him.

Once he caught me staring, I scooted closer to him, leaning my head against his shoulder. Almost instinctively, his hand reached up to stroke my hair. We sat like this for a few moments before I moved, turning his head to face me. I leaned upwards until our lips met, melding together perfectly. 

We had kissed before. Many times, in fact. I always felt sparks. I knew I felt strongly for him, and I knew he felt the same for me through this simple action. In a way, I guess you could say our disabilities had brought us together to the point where we understood each other better than most could ever possibly could. That's what I always believed, even as he pulled me into his lap, hands crawling up my shirt as he deepened the kiss--always impatient. God had stolen my arm and later stole Kanda's speech. That's how we met. 

Kanda was comfortable with me and me only, at first maybe because I was a lot like him--different from everyone else. Later, however, it escalated from that, or at least that's what I'd like to believe. I often felt like I was the only one who understood him as I often jumped to defend him whenever I heard someone deeming him as rude or arrogant. 

I let out a moan as his teeth nipped at the sensitive areas of my skin, my fingers weaving through his long silky hair. I was a fool for this man. He was the only one who didn't look at me like I was different. 

His hands were in my pants, stroking me--always impatient. I arched my back, small moans escaping my throat with each quick stroke. I pressed my lips against his again, forcing his mouth open with my tongue. I had to taste him. He caved in quickly, tongue wrestling mine. He tasted sweet, addicting. 

I pulled back, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes, "Kanda... Nngh... Close..." I grabbed his hand, stopping his movements, "Take me."

He didn't miss a beat--always impatient. We both stripped down and soon I was pinned to the floor, biting my lip in attempt to stifle my moans as he drove into me. He was slow, gentle this time, watching me and my reactions. He stroked me again. It was too much. I soon reached my climax, staining us both with white. He pulled out, finishing himself off. 

I was so glad it was only Kanda and I, our only company being the various sculptures and other art pieces surrounding us.

He moved a piece of hair out of my face, his breathing heavy as he kissed my forehead. Sluggishly, we both got up and dressed ourselves, deciding we should both go home and take a shower. We didn't speak for a while until we had left, his arm looped around my shoulders. 

I looked up at him again, studying his features. His beauty surpassed that of any of my sculptures. If only I could capture it.


	23. The Doll Maker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut

KANDA

I couldn't help but to watch him.

It was always like this. 

I didn't mean to stare. I never did. It just sort of happened and it was nearly impossible to avert my eyes once I got started. Yet, I always felt awkward when he caught me, though I knew he knew I was always watching him at work. He never seemed to mind though, all his concentration focused on his craft. 

It was weird seeing him so focused on something. He usually acted so carefree. The serious posture and expression he wore when he worked was out of character, and perhaps that's why I enjoyed watching him. He became a stranger when he worked, guarded and cold like the small statuettes he would create. 

Allen was a master with the human body, a sculptor worth recognizing. It was a shame most only recognized him for his handicap. He was so much more than that. His missing arm was not nearly as interesting as his masterpieces, but it always seemed the world thought otherwise. Day after day, visitors would come and go in the studio, all present to witness Allen at his work, shocked expressions and sympathetic gasps prepared. Allen always claimed to appreciate them--polite as ever--but I always felt an uneasy feeling settle in my stomach when I saw the way his shiny eyes faded. 

Allen's eyes sparkled like two clear diamonds embedded in a king's crown. They were gorgeous, and they shined brighter than stars when struck with inspiration. But they held something dim in their irises, something ancient and locked away--a secret. His eyes held the universe, yet his words still held kindness. I envied him.

Occasionally, I'd ask what he was making, pretending I had just begun watching him when in reality I observed him for the last two hours instead of studying my English textbooks like I always claimed to be doing. He always smiled when I asked. It made me feel warm and light. The feeling was strange just as he was.

Whenever he told me about his creations, I felt as if he was telling me his hopes and dreams, his entire story. It was as if I was peaking into his very own book of life, and I always enjoyed listening to the audio version of it. 

I asked him why his figure only had one arm and if it was a representation of himself. I hoped that I didn't sound as blunt as I usually did. I never tried to sound as cold as I did, I just struggled to speak properly as I was foreign and sometimes had trouble communicating my thoughts. Allen never seemed to mind though, always wearing a pearly white grin, especially around me. Seeing it always made me feel butterflies, which is why I always saved my words for him. I knew he appreciated them more than anyone. 

I came to sit beside him as he explained the meaning behind the tiny one-armed statuette, peeking over his shoulder at me as he gazed at me with his diamond eyes. His snowy hair was pushed back, a few of his choppy bangs falling into his eyes. His skin was pale and flawless, minus the clay on the tips of each of his fingers and the pentacle-shaped scar on one of his eyes. He smiled at me, my reaction instant as I felt myself inwardly melt. 

He cleared his throat and answered my previous question in a small voice, "Yes, it is. I got the idea from a doll."

I raised an inquisitive eyebrow upon hearing this, staring at him with wide eyes. I felt the butterflies forever trapped in my stomach suddenly fluttering about like crazy. I quickly averted my gaze and looked down at my lap as I felt the burning sensation of a forming blush reach the tips of my ears and spread to my cheeks. He smirked at me, an arrogant look in his eyes.

I was an artist like Allen. I was a doll maker. Many people fancied the dolls I created, but I never created them for the enjoyment of others. They were always different, never the same. However, since they had become rather popular for reasons unknown to me, most of them were considered rare and would usually sell for good prices if I really needed the money. Oftentimes, however, they were not crafted by my own hand, simply repaired and improved. I had a tendency to buy damaged dolls simply to fix them and make them beautiful again. In a way, for me, they were coping mechanisms, each doll representing a broken piece of me that I wanted to fix oh-so desperately. When my brother had died not too long ago back when I lived in Japan, I turned to doll-making as if I could repair the damage the tragedy had caused. 

However, Allen's answer about his sculpture had struck a chord in me. I had recently restored an old doll I had found in the garbage when shopping for new art supplies. Its hair was originally a platinum blond color, stopping at the shoulders. Half of its face had been rubbed off somehow, but luckily, its body was still in tact--at least until I ripped off one of its arms. I had brought it back to the studio with me and cut its hair short. Removing the rest of the face, I repainted it with thin pink lips and silver-blue eyes. I adored it and refused to sell it no matter what price I was offered for it. It was important to me. It was a symbol of what I considered to be beauty. 

Allen spoke up again, interrupting my thoughts, "I really liked the doll, Kanda."

I felt my blush darken as he shot me an adorable smile. I loved seeing him smile when it was real. It was rare to see and I cherished it dearly. I eventually tore my eyes away from him and took a deep breath, calming my rapid heartbeat. Turning back around to face him, I looked back down at his work, suddenly realizing there was more than one figure.

My heartbeat was thundering once again as realization struck, "Why did you make two figures?"

He smiled at me again, his voice holding a tiny hint of excitement, "Since I took the idea, I decided to make a tribute to the artist."

Tri-byut? That's a strange word. I furrowed my brows, peeking up at him shyly. His eyes widened slightly before he quickly jumped into a small explanation, picking up on my confusion instantly as he always did, "It's kind of like a thank-you, I guess you could say... You'll have to look for a better definition for it later."

I nodded, understanding it a bit better than before. I guess I'd have to learn how to spell it later, so I could actually look it up. I smirked at him, noticing a small blush tinting his fair skin. He was so cute sometimes, I could hardly bear it.

I inched closer to him, planting a chaste kiss on his temple, watching as his cute blush grew darker. He turned to look up at me suddenly, sucking his bottom lip in between his teeth as he usually did when contemplating something. I blushed suddenly, aware of where his thoughts were. He turned away from me, holding a nearby rag in place with his prosthetic arm as he wiped his sculpting hand clean. 

I wasn't sure what it was about Allen that I adored. He was one of the strangest people I had ever met, yet it was that same abnormality I was so deeply attracted to. I couldn't explain it. He was simply all I could ever think about. He even dominated my artwork, always seeming to far surpass the beauty of anything I could create.

I stared down at the two figures on his work table once again, biting my bottom lip as I fought to suppress the smile slowly beginning to form. I felt someone's gaze on me and turned to see Allen's eyes trained on my own. He scooted closer to me and leaned his head against my shoulder. Almost instinctively, my hand reached up to stroke his soft snowy hair. We sat like this for a few minutes before he moved again, turning to face me. He leaned upwards until our lips met, melding together perfectly. 

I had kissed Allen many times before. It wasn't unusual or anything, yet I always seemed to feel those sparks they talked about in the movies. In a way, I considered myself lucky to have known this feeling because I knew for certain I felt strongly for him, and I knew he felt the same way simply from the way his lips moved in perfect sync against mine. I never knew someone who had understood me the way Allen could; he knew me better than I even knew myself, and I liked to think I understood him better than anyone on this earth. I pulled him in my lap, craving his warmth. I always wanted him so close. My hands crawled up his shirt, caressing the soft skin as I deepened our kiss. I was an impatient man, and I wanted him more than anything. He made me feel weak with how desperate I was to simply have his attention, but he gave me strength at the same time. He was the only beautiful thing left in my world after my brother had left me.

He was the only one I would ever give myself to. I swore this after our first kiss. He was the only one who understood what it was like to be truly alone, and with him, I didn't have to be alone anymore. 

He let out a soft moan as my teeth nipped at the sensitive areas of his skin, his fingers tangled in my dark hair. I sometimes wondered if he knew exactly how deep my love for him ran--as if it was flowing through my very veins. Despite what he might think, there was not a single flaw in this boy as far as I was concerned. 

My hands had traveled down into his pants, my fingers wrapped around him, stroking slowly. I couldn't keep my hands to myself. He arched his back in pleasure, small moans escaping his throat with each stroke. He pressed his lips against mine, forcing my mouth open with his tongue. I loved making him feel as desperate as me. It was bliss. I caved into his demands, my tongue wrestling passionately with his. 

He pulled away, looking up at me through half-lidded eyes glistening with lust, "Kanda... Nngh... Close..." He grabbed my hand, stopping me as he leaned in closer to whisper in my ear, "Take me."

I couldn't resist him. I was impatient, and I needed him. We both stripped down, and soon I had him pinned to the floor below me, watching as he bit his lip in a pathetic attempt to stifle his moans as I drove into him. Allen was always loud, but I loved it. I began stroking him again, ready for those loud moans of ecstasy to send me over edge. He soon reached his climax, moaning loudly, his skin flushed red as he stained us both with the color white. I pulled out of him, finishing myself off.

It's a good thing nobody was here today, otherwise that could have been a very awkward experience. 

I shook that thought aside and moved a strand of wet hair out of Allen's face, his breathing heavy as I leaned down to kiss his forehead. Sluggishly, we both got up and dressed ourselves, deciding we should both go home and take a shower. There was nothing but silence between us until we left the studio. I looped my arm around his shoulders as we walked side by side on our route home.

My arm drifted down to his waist, pulling him closer to my side. I wish I could capture the beauty I saw in him just as I did in my dolls, but I don't believe such a thing could be possible. Even the doll I shaped specifically after him could never compete with the beauty I saw in those lovely silver eyes.


	24. Ugh

LAVI

It was a Saturday night. 

It had been a while since my best friends and I had gotten together to just hang out by ourselves. I was excited about being the jocose third wheel again for once. It would be just the three of us guys--Kanda, Allen, and I--running wild in our favorite arcade together. 

Unfortunately, as one would have it, Allen--unable to say no--allowed Lenalee to tag along with us, completely oblivious as to why she insisted to come with us. While I love Lenalee dearly, sometimes, I wish she'd just fuck off, and I mean that in the nicest of ways. I knew she was only interested in coming so she could cling to Allen the entire time, and while I frankly don't give a shit about it, I just wanted to hang out with Allen and Kanda for one night without her--or anyone else--in my way.

So naturally, when I was dragged away from the two to talk about her jealousy issues, it was safe to say I was more than annoyed. While I loved helping my friends at any opportunity, I just couldn't be bothered with it tonight. After all, she had barged into our plans without an invitation, and now she was distracting me from the very reason I came here tonight. Times like these were the reason I sometimes loathed being the designated therapist in my small clique. 

"...I just don't get it, Lavi..." She had been talking for the last five minutes, and I hadn't listened to a single word of it, "Allen and Kanda literally have NOTHING in common. Allen and I, on the other hand--"

Before she could finish, I cut her off, "What are you talking about? They have a lot in common."

She narrowed her eyes into challenging slits, "Oh yeah? Like what?"

I let out an exasperated sigh, so not in the mood for this bullshit, but continuing with a big breath of air nonetheless, "Well, for one, both of them grew up in foster families. Both of them play instruments. They like a lot of the same music. They both are huge fans of American Horror Story. They both kick ass at DDR," I gestured towards where a crowd was gathering around their dancing forms, "They both prefer Loki over Thor. They both like the anime, Free! And they're both fucking gay, so yes, they have a hella lot in common. Didn't know all that, did you? You know why? Because you don't know them as well as you think you do."

When I looked down at her, she seemed shocked. I felt a little rush of guilt shoot through me, but I held my resolve, just staring at her until she regained her composure and let out a defeated sigh.

"...I'm sorry, Lavi."

This surprised me, even for Lenalee.

"I shouldn't have talked that way about them. You've known them for a lot longer than I have. I didn't know any of that stuff about them. I'm still upset, but I know I shouldn't talk that way about the people you care about. I'm sorry... Forgive me?" She tentatively held out her arms towards me, her expression unsure.

I let out a small sigh before giving her a smile, pulling her into a tight hug, "I forgive you. I'm sorry I yelled at you. You're just coping with your feelings, and I know it can't be easy. But you should know by now that you can't just diss someone's ship. Shame on you, Ms. Lee." 

She looked up at me with a wicked grin, "I still don't ship Eruri."

I gasped dramatically, "You take that back!"

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave me comments!


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